Happy Father's - DAD's Day!

Today is Father's Day. I choose to call it "Dad's Day", as I believe there is a distinction. Becoming a father is not all that difficult, however, Being a great Dad is!  So in honor of the day; a heartfelt thank you to all Dads!

Some of us have lost our Dad's, but please remember: Death ends a life, not a relationship. Today, let us remember all the love, support and pride they so freely showed us, the knowledge they imparted on us and the wonderful example they set for us.

Moms and dads: may you both celebrate the wonderful Dad you are becoming. You have the ability to follow a good example or choose to start a new tradition in great parenting!

To all of you who have become Dads to kids with different "biological fathers, I salute you!  You are a blessing to the kids and us, their mothers.  You are a great source of love, pride and worldly knowledege that might not otherwise be present in their lives.  Please know, especially today, you are greatly needed and appreciated!

Today is a great day to say, (and hear), Thank You, Dad. I love you!

So today, I say thank you both to my own Father and Dad, (I am sure you can hear me), and a special thank you to my son's "Dad", David.  We are both grateful that you are in our lives. WE love you!

Victoria

Changes: Part 2

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

~ Maya Angelou

If we are capable and willing to be honest with ourselves, we know when we are not feeling the best we could, being the best we can be and doing the best we can. We know when we are not living and enjoying our lives to the fullest. If so, we know we are not living in 'Positive Adaptation'.

When we know this to our core and have a developed a pretty clear sense as to why, the next questions must then become: Now what? What am I going to do about it? Exactly how will I make the changes I must to think, feel and especially, do better in the future.

No matter what the source of our sense of unhappiness, please remember, we always have the power to change our attitude toward whatever or whom ever is causing us this unhappiness and just how much we let it/them negatively effect us. This is especially true if the real culprit is us.

I often say to my clients and friends, "Yes, this is a simple concept, yet in reality, it is not so easy to do in everyday life." Admittedly, it is not always easy for me, but indeed, eventually, it is always doable!

Our attitude can and will, alter how we think, feel and do. Negativity begets negativity, whereas positivity offers us a much greater chance at achieving positive results and thus, gratitude and happiness.

We must make the necessary changes, break old patterns of thought, feeling and actions.

Take the next exit, "Changes", off the old road. This is the one which will lead us to living and enjoying a happier life - one filled with happiness and joy. Ask the best of yourself and you will see and feel positive results.

You can be assured I am with you.

Victoria

Celebrate With Me

Today is Mother's Day and tomorrow is my birthday. I am proud to announce that I am 51 years young today! I have stopped fretting over the number, after all, age is only a matter of the mind and if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. I don't mind a bit because I am feeling better, enjoying life and love, more today than ever.  

Growing up, I shared my birthday many times celebrating Mother's Day as well. As my dear father used to say; "May every day be Mother's Day, may roses grow along your way".  Yes, Dad, (and Mom), roses do grow along my way. Now I even stop to smell them!

Thank you, Mom, Dad and all the rest of you, (I hope you know, through my words and actions, who your are), for believing in me before I believed in myself! My gift to myself this year is to continue to attempt to help others be stronger, believe in their best selves, love and enjoy life to the fullest, just as I have learned to do!

I invite all of you to joyfully celebrate May 10, 2010, with me! Whether you are a mother or not, have a birthday today or not, please, celebrate yourselves and those who have helped you along your journey!

The best is yet to come. May you find joy in this day and all the days that follow. I will be right there with you!

Victoria

P.S.- Please take the time to watch 'Mom and baby squirrels' video. If squirrels can, so can we!  http://webcastr.com/videos/underground/ucla-Story-About-a-Big-Squirrel-And-a-Baby-Squirrel.html

A Time of Renewal and Change

It is Spring time.... a time of renewal and change.
  

"It is not the strongest of species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."  

~ Charles Darwin

Change is inevitable! We know this to be true, intellectually. However, most of us are resistant to change, first and responsive to it second.  

Fair enough; change can be frightening.  We do not generally embrace change naturally and without some resistance.  No, first we need to think about why we must change, work through our feelings about it and then take the necessary actions to make change.  

The term 'adaptation' literally means something, such as a behavior, that is changed so as to become more suitable to a new or special situation. Utilizing Positive Adaptation as a method we can become more responsive and less resistant to all types of changes. One way to accomplish this is to view change with a more positive attitude, not as the enemy, but rather, as an opportunity for positive growth and a chance at a form of renewal.

Whether or not we thought about changing,  invited the circumstance or the need arose that required us to do so, we must learn to become more accepting of and responsive to change.  This is yet another way to become the best we can be - allowing us to live 'happier', 'better' lives.  We can go through the process of change with less fear and gain greater confidence in our ability to adapt.

If flowers can change naturally, we, too, can learn to adapt and change with greater ease, grace and comfort.

To becoming more responsive to your time of renewal and change...

Victoria

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

Reason versus Truth

"I have one request: may I never use

my reason against truth."

~ Elie Wiesel

Most of us grew up hearing "Honesty is the best policy". However, somewhere along the way, many of us figured out there are loopholes to be found in this statement and we became quite proficient at finding and using them.

We seem to develop other, less positive, coping mechanisms: rationalizing, making excuses, omitting certain details, "sugar coating" and other ways in which to "spin the truth". We generally are prone to engage in these when we do not want, (or others), to have to face something unpleasant and/or when negative consequences appear imminent.

Let us not kid ourselves, there are many ways to be dishonest. A major problem with utilizing these negative techniques is it is a fundamental betrayal to ourselves and others. In fact, if we learn to use them too well, we are at risk of actually believing our own lies.

Honesty, (truthfulness), especially with ourselves, is actually a great asset and no matter what the situation, can provide a sense of inner peace and freedom.

The courage to look reality squarely in the face is a huge first step in best coping with it in a productive, positive and healthy manner.

Yes, the truth can hurt, however, not dealing with it can be much worse. I have found that being honest hurts much less in the long run.

To truly become our best selves, we must learn to believe and trust in the fact that we are strong enough to handle the truth, whatever it is, and not use "reason" to avoid it. When we do, this is when our best coping and healing skills are found.

'Truth is the best policy", if we want to 'Think, Feel and Do' and be our best.

We must only remember how we deliver the truth is equally as important as telling it. There is generally no need to be brutal. We need only be considerate of our own and others feelings and we will do just fine.

We can handle the truth. In doing so, we are being our best. It is in standing and living in our truth that we will find greater personal freedom and the inner peace we seek.

Victoria

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

Triumph of the Human Spirit

Rocky was an underdog who achieved

Triumph of the human spirit.

This post is dedicated to all who did and did not survive the horrific earthquake in Haiti this week, their families and friends and to all the wonderful people from around the world who are helping, in one way or another.

We can help others, (and ourselves), to triumph over adversity!

Please, use Positive Adaptation and 'Think, Feel and Do' something this week to be part of the healing process.

Victoria

New Year: Positive Changes

(image is Chimp - Gorilla)

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change." ~ Michael Jackson from "Man in the Mirror"

It is that time of year again, the beginning of a new year. So what are you going to do to make it your best year ever?

My suggestion is to practice 'Positive Adaptation - Think, Feel and Do' your best. In doing so, you can begin making the positive changes needed to insure you are your best self, thus enjoy living life to the fullest, right now! What better New Year's resolution can there be?

The first step is to be willing to take a good, long, honest look at yourself. Begin with examining your attitude,(think and feel). Do you have a positive view of yourself and the world around you? Do you take good care of yourself, emotionally and physically? Are you where you want to be? Are your relationships the best they can be? Are you on a career path which you believe will lead you where you want to go? Can you see opportunities for positive, personal and professional growth?

The real question is: Are you doing all you can to so that by this time next year, you are able to answer 'yes'? If not, what positive changes or actions are required?

We cannot rely on others to make this happen or do this for us! We must participate in the process. After all, it is our happiness, (and others, of course), at stake here. We must own what is ours and be willing do the work necessary to achieve our goals.

In upcoming posts this January, I will be taking a look at many of the wonderful possibilities so we may all achieve the positive changes we seek.

Let us all be able to say, this time next year, "Wow! What a great year that was. I cannot wait to see what next year holds for me and mine."

To making positive changes!

Victoria

Happy New Year!

2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rId95N2teUc&feature=related

At the stroke of midnight, New Year's Eve, this song is played all over the world. In the film "When Harry Met Sally", after he declares his love for her at a party, Harry says to Sally, "I never really understood what the song meant. I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot?' Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?"

I am with you Harry! What does that song really mean? You know what, it doesn't really matter!

What does matter is that we take all we have experienced and learned in the year passing and use it to help us make the new year even better, the best one yet!

One way to achieve this is to learn and practice 'Positive Adaptation'. We can all strive, learn and become 'better'; better to ourselves, our spouses and children, friends and family, our careers and better with all others with whom we interact.

Let us make our New Year's Resolution, (and keep it!), this year to practicing Positive Adaptation. May we all 'Think, Feel and Do' our best and thus enjoy life to the fullest in 2010!

Let the Good Times Roll and remember Happy Days Are Here! (music to both on the right side of text)

May this be the best year yet for us all!

Victoria

Believe!

Believe what in what your heart is saying.

Believe in what you feel inside and

Give your dreams the wings to fly!

You have everything you need if you just believe!

Happy Holidays!

Victoria

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

Be inspired: "Make my day."

"The main thing is not how long you're

on the planet, but the quality you have while

you are here. That is the only thing

that really matters." ~ Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood: another person is my series of actual people who personify Positive Adaptation in action. At every age, he states he has challenged himself to learn, grow and be the best he can be.

Eastwood, who almost 40 years ago, in the classic film "Dirty Harry" said: "Go ahead, make my day." is still making the very most of every one of his days.

Now, almost 80 years young, Eastwood lives his own words of wisdom: "Follow what you think. You want to do something? Then just do it the best you can." He believes that living ones' best life is about "expanding, constantly pushing yourself."

Clint Eastwood's career, from 'Spagetti Western" actor to multi-academy award winning actor and director, is proof of his dedication to self and professional growth. "He challenges his audiences by challenging himself and inspires us all in the process."

Today, let us follow his example. Let us be inspired to be the best we can be, live and enjoy life to the fullest.

Go ahead.... make your day!

Victoria

See Clearly Now So You May Grow

There is an American Indian tale about a mouse who hears a roaring noise in his ear. The mouse sets out to discover what the noise is. He encounters many animals who help him along his journey. The mouse also has the opportunity to offer help to others. He gives his eyes away to help two other animals.

Now, without his sight, he feels defenseless and decides there is nothing to do but just sit and wait "for the end". Then, suddenly, the mouse hears the sound that eagles make as they dive for their prey. The next thing he knows....he is flying and can see all the splendors around him.

The mouse hears a voice say: "You have a new name. You are now Eagle".

This tale reminds me that sometimes we have to give up our old eyes to see ourselves, others and life in general, in a new and different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision - one which allows us to experience all life has to offer.

If we want to continue to become the best we can be and enjoy life to the fullest, there are times we must change the way we 'Think, Feel Do' and See. This is Positive Adaptation.

We too can become eagles and soar.

Victoria

(Thank you, Renee)

Life Is What We Make It!

"Life is what we make it,

always has been,

always will be."

~ Grandma Moses

aka: Anna Mary Robertson Moses

1860-1961

"Grandma Moses" did not begin to paint until she was 75 years old! She chose to paint when, due to arthritis, she became unable to do her needlework any longer. She may not have been able to hold a needle any longer, however, she found she was capable of holding a paint brush. In her last 27 years of life she created over 1,600 paintings. Now that is what I call Positive Adaptation.

Anna Mary (Robertson) Moses did not always have an easy life. She bore 10 children, of which only 5 survived. She lost her husband in 1927 and never remarried.

Consider this: She was born before Abraham Lincoln was president, survived The Civil War, WW I, The Great Depression, World WW II, The Korean War and lived to see herself and the entire world around her change, several times over.

Grandma Moses is also famous for saying: "Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."

It has been said that Grandma Moses remained, (until her death at 101 years young), one fiesty, strong willed, charming, warm, loving, and optimistic woman.

Grandma Moses was a personification of what I call Positive Adaptation. I can only assume that this remarkable woman did 'Think, Feel and Do' her best and certainly appeared to enjoy life to the fullest!

Anna never gave up. She positively adapted to whatever occurred and was said to have always truly loved life! We can learn so much from her attitude and how she lived her life.

If she could, we can we too.

Victoria

* Please, feel free to look up the remarkable work and life story of Anna Mary Robertson Moses, aka: "Grandma Moses".

We Can Learn Much From Others

I chose to share this today as a valuable reminder to us all. We need not agree with nor follow all of the Ms. Regina Brett's lessons listed below to be and feel better about ourselves and our lives.

FYI: contrary to popular belief, Ms. Brett was not 90 years old when she wrote and published this. In fact, as of this date, she is only 54 years old. Regardless of age, she expresses great wisdom. It certainly appears to me she subscribes to some version of ‘Positive Adaptation’. What do you think?

"Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on"

Published May 28, 2006 in "The Plain Dealer"

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

And two of my personal favorites: “Age is a matter if the mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter." and "Be happy while your are alive. You are dead for a lot longer."

Consider practicing at least some of Ms. Brett's, (and your own), life lessons today and just see how much better you 'Think, Feel and Do'!

Victoria

P.S. Please, let me know how it goes.

Take a Break - Relax to the Sounds and Sight of the Surf

"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind." ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When was the last time you spent a few quiet moments doing nothing but giving your body and mind a chance to rest?

We all need breaks from the action of daily living. We must learn to allow ourselves time to rejuvenate.

It takes positive energy to be the best we can be, live and enjoy life to the fullest.

After some much needed rest, we will be ready and able to move forward again and utilizing the three principles of Positive Adaptation: Think, Feel and Do, we will do just that.

So for now, make some time for yourself to just relax and be still. Even if it is only for a few short minutes a day, I believe you will Feel better for having done so.

Enjoy your quiet time.

Victoria

Getting To Know Me...

Now and Then....

As I end my summer 'blogcation' I share with you an interview I did with Phil Bolsta, author of the book "Sixty Seconds".

http://bolstablog.wordpress.com/2009/08/08/victoria/

Enjoy your day and I will see you back here soon with the first of new posts: "Positive Healthy Boundaries" soon!

Victoria

"Dahlia, Now and Then"

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

Believe In Yourself

"The Liger"

Graphic Design by: Jordan Baum Crawford

What we teach our children, by word and deed, are their first examples in life! I taught mine to believe; especially in yourself.

What a joy this was to see. By George, I think he's got it!

What do you want to teach your children or learn yourself?

With Positive Adaptation as a guide, all is possible.

Believe you can and mostly likely, you will.

Believe in yourself and you will have a great day.

Victoria

(One proud mama)

Joy Works From The Inside Out

"Joy works from

the inside out."

~ V. Baum

Authentic joy is independent of external factors or circumstances. Joy originates from the core within us. We may not be capable of choosing all external factors which effect our lives, however, we can choose how we respond to them. Let us choose to be joyful.

Nothing outside of us can make us feel joyful. We will not find joy if sought from such things as the amount of money we make, the material items we collect or being around the 'right' people. To achieve genuine 'success' we must first choose to live a life of joyfulness. "The closer you come to your core, the greater is your joy." ~Torkom Saraydarian

I appreciate how Oprah Winfrey states what joy means: "I define joy as a sustained sense of well being and internal peace - a connection to what matters."

But what really matters to us? The answer to this question requires that we dig deep within ourselves to discover our core truth. We must reevaluate and learn, (through Positive Adaptation), who we really are now, who and what matters most to us and who we want to become.

As we age and experience life's transitions it is natural to experience changes in our priorities as well. When we discover a healthy balance; one where our thoughts, feelings and actions are in harmony, it is only then we find the kind of joy that is reflected in our new priorities. Becoming our best selves offers us the opportunity to gain the wisdom of what really matters to us and therefore, be joyful.

A significant part of obtaining and sustaining a life filled with joy comes from learning to live in the present moment. Joy is found in this day; as yesterday is over and tomorrow has yet to arrive. Living in the day insures us we will not miss a minute of joy available to us.

No real success exists without joy. If you want a true measure of your success in any particular area of your life, you can easily assess it by measuring the amount of joy you are feeling as result of what you are doing, have, etc. . Keep in mind... joy works from the inside out.

A joyful life can be yours! 'Think, Feel and Do' it. You already have everything you need. Joy is inside of you just waiting to be felt, experienced and shared.

May you be joyful today.

Victoria

Living in Harmony

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mahatma Gandi

Positive Adaptation is about achieving harmony, obtaining and sustaining a healthy balance, in all areas of life. Living a life in harmony clears the path to our being our best and enjoy life to the fullest.

We must learn to 'say what we mean, mean what we say and do as we say we will'. We cannot expect to feel harmonious if we are being dishonest with ourselves, nor can we expect much more from others than we are willing to do ourselves. We only have the power to achieve this harmony in our own lives, although when we do so, we are much more likely attract others who tend to live in the same manner.

With honesty comes a certain type of peace, as we do not have to use as much of our energy up trying to keep the stories we tell straight in our minds, hanging on to the feelings in our hearts which we are not sharing or regretting actions we may or may not have taken.

I am not suggesting that we behave like children, who have yet to fully develop appropriate 'filters'. We cannot say or do whatever we feel like, whenever we feel like, without regard for how it may effect others. We must learn to process all thoughts, feelings and actions in an effort to develop maintain the healthiest filters. This process allows harmony and peace to flow in and remain in our daily lives.

Life is all about relationships; with ourselves and others. Whether it be a personal or professional one, maintaining a high level of integrity between or thoughts, feelings and actions assists us in having the healthiest relationships possible. I find it takes much more effort to 'keep all the balls in the air' when deception of any form is involved.

We have a lot going on in our lives; family, work, school and social interactions. It can be difficult to maintain a sense of healthy balance in all areas, especially if we did not have the best of examples to learn from. I can tell you from personal and professional experience the goal of living in harmony and balance is most certainly an obtainable one. If I could learn how, you can too.

We cannot change what we do not know or understand, therefore, we must first discover who we really are in order to learn what aspects ourselves we need to change. Great strides in achieving an acceptance of how we came to be who we are can be gained through examining and reflecting upon the older patterns in our life, (see previous posts on Patterns).

However, the goal of Positive Adaptation is not to live in the past, rather it is to understand it to the best of our ability. When we do so, true change happens. We become capable of really experiencing all life has to offer and we live richer, fuller, happier lives in the present.

Positive Adaptation's goal is to learn to 'Think, Feel and Do' our best and become our best selves, the one we can and are meant to be. We are able to lay our heads down at the end of the day and fall to sleep peacefully when we know that our thoughts, feelings and actions were indeed in harmony throughout the day.

'Think, Feel and Do' in harmony today and may you feel the happiness which comes from doing so.

Thank You and I Love You

Thank you

and

I love you too!

My father, a man who said it was best to have "Smiling eyes and laughing lips", also taught me "It’s the little things in life that really matter." Bernard, (aka: Bernie, Dad, Professor, Opa and The General), a man who did indeed have 'smiling eyes and laughing lips', was also known to say when speaking of his life, (especially of his four children), “I am blessed!”

On this, my first real Father’s Day without him, (as last year it was just days after his death and too early to even begin to process), I say, “Dad, I was blessed to have had you.”

This post is not intended to be sad, in fact, quite the opposite. For all, who like me, have lost their beloved Dad’s, let us remember today all the love, support and pride they so freely showed us, the knowledge they imparted upon us and the wonderful example they set for us. Today, let us all say “Thank you and I love you.”

Last week, I spoke with a group of CEOs, many of whom stated that their fathers were always working and were rarely there, were alcoholics, suffered from other mental health issues or were just not in their lives at all. They asked me how they could learn to reconcile themselves to the past and create balance to obtain and sustain, a successful business and family life, in the future.

I explained to the group that Positive Adaptation is a way of life; including these three principles: 'Think, Feel and Do’ better, become the best you, you can possibly be and therefore, you will enjoy life to the fullest.

In response to their specific question, my answer was and is, "Be the example you wished you had had. First, you must identify what it is you felt you needed and wanted, however did not get, change this pattern in your own life, now and freely share all this positivity and wisdom with your own children."

For all of you who grieve for the father you never had, let today be a day of celebration for the person you are now becoming and the Dad you can or have become, (the one you wanted and needed yourself). And please, do not forget to hug your children and tell them you love them, often. I guarantee you and your children will feel and be better for having done so.

To all who have become Dad’s to children who have different 'biological' fathers, I salute you! You are a blessing to both the kids and their mothers. You are a great source of love, pride and worldly knowledge that otherwise might not be present in their lives. You give and share so much. Know you are greatly needed and are appreciated.

As Father’s Day is a special day to honor our Fathers/Dads, I believe the best gift I could ever give my father was a big hug and the knowledge that I am, indeed, happy, healthy, being the best I can be and enjoying life to the fullest. Well, Dad, I am proud to tell you, (and the world), I am today and I am teaching my son to Be and Do the same. Thank you for teaching me that even 'late bloomers', can and do eventually blossom and that no matter what, one should never give up on themselves. I know you never lost faith in me and you helped me to have faith in myself too.

Through Positive Adaptation, we can all learn to ‘Think, Feel and Do’ better and enjoy life to the fullest.

Today and everyday, I say “Thank you, Dad. I love you too!"

To learn more about my own father, please read: http://positiveadaptation.blogspot.com/2009/05/rich-full-colorful-life.html This waltz is for you now and always....

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

(Thank you for capturing the moments!)

Enjoy Facing Challenges

"I live in solutions, not problems.  I enjoy the challenge." 

~ Victoria Baum

The first sentence of the book "The Road Less Travelled" is "Life is difficult". How difficult depends upon our willingness to adopt a better attitude and use a different set life problem solving skills. Life is not nearly as difficult when we choose to view all problems, (hence forth referred to as situations), as a challenge; an opportunity for positive growth. Facing the challenge of doing so offers us the ability to be the best we can be and live life to the fullest.

There is no mountain too high to climb, whether it be personal or professional. Ergo, there is no situation, however dire it may appear or feel at the time, that we cannot find at least one viable solution to. Utilizing the three principles of Positive Adaptation: 'Think, Feel and Do', will assist you. In fact, rather than shy away from them, you will find yourself enjoying facing challenges. ("You can get it if you really want" -click play button above to listen to the song.)

The first step is to Think of whatever challenge faces you as a puzzle that can and will be solved, rather than an insurmountable problem. Admittedly this step sounds obvious and simplistic, but not so easily done. How we think coming into a situation may very well determine its outcome. Think and believe, "Yes, I can, if I really want to."

When we Feel and believe there will be a positive outcome it is much more likely to occur. When problem solving or facing any challenge, fear is not our ally. Courage, (from the French word for heart, coeur) is required, therefore, we must feel we have it to act with it. One definition of courage I am known to use often, I borrowed from Susan Jeffers: "Courage is being willing to feel the fear and do it anyway". 

The third principle of Positive Adaptation, 'Do', is vital as no solution can be found if the challenge of finding one is not met. No matter how much faith we may have, "Faith without works is dead." Merely thinking about and feeling you can climb the mountain does not get you where you want to go, the top! Remember: self esteem grows every time we take positive action. 

The principles of Positive Adaptation work for any situation, (formally referred to as 'problem'), whether they be emotional, physical or situational, in nature. 

I know this to be true, as I use Positive Adaptation to face my own challenges. Why do I make the decision to live in the solution, because it really is easier and I enjoy the challenge!  

Hoping you will learn to as well...

Victoria