What Matters Most Is How You See Yourself! (Reprint)

What Matters Most

Is How You See

Yourself!

"No one can make you feel inferior without

 your permission"  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Why then do we, all too often, give our permission and allow others to  make us feel badly about ourselves? Remember, painful as it may be to admit, they are not doing it to us, we are allowing them.  

We are in all types of 'relationships'; be they personal, professional or social, with people who we allow to diminish our own sense of self worth. In fact, we often seem to seek out these 'types'. Why?

We need to be honest with ourselves and identify the patterns of how we let these people into our lives, worse yet, once we realize their toxic effect, allow them to stay. Whether we have done so consciously or unconsciously, out of a sense of duty or obligation, the results are still the same: we feel poorly about ourselves and are unhappy. We must stop seeing ourselves through their eyes and begin to see ourselves as the best person we can be.

I suggest we allow it no more. Now is the time to learn to give ourselves permission to think, feel and do 'better'. This is the essence of 'Positive Adaptation'. Please look at the picture above once more and then you decide who do you want to be, the cat, the lion or a healthy combination of the two.

I am not suggesting that what others think or say to and about us may not offer some valuable insights.  What I am saying is that first we must consider the source. Do they really have our best interests at heart?  If so, wonderful, if not, we ought to stop listening immediately.

We need to discover who we are and who we are not, who we want to become and what are our true needs and wants are.  What will make us think and feel 'better' about ourselves? What can we do to find ourselves living 'happier', more satisfying lives, enjoying mutually satisfying relationships.

It may sound like a daunting task however this is the only way to break our old, unhealthy patterns, once and for all. The answers lie within all of us.

Let us stop giving our permission to others to feel like inferior beings. Instead, let us begin to give permission to ourselves to think, feel and do our way into being the best we know we can be.

FYI: I see myself as both a cat and a lion, it depends on what the situation calls for.  I am adaptable.

What matters most is how you see yourself. Feel free to let me know!

Victoria

Positive Adaptation - An Overview (reprint)

“Just when the caterpillar thought
it was over,




it became a butterfly”

The answer to “Now what?”, "I am just not 'happy' or "Is this it, is this all there is?", is Positive Adaptation, (PA). Whatever the the situation, problem or issue, we must ask ourselves a different question: “How am I going to emerge from this day, a 'healthier' and 'happier' person, more ready and able to truly enjoy all that life has to offer!

We need to dig deep and discover our best selves, develop new coping skills which will in turn greatly improve our lives and overall optimal well being right now and in the future.

Positive Adaptation, (PA), is a choice, a decision, way of living and handling life’s most sensitive issues. When PA becomes integrated into your life you will have more positive feelings and attitudes and as a result, more positive outcomes. Remember: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is just another form of self-sabotage. Positive Adaptation is the answer to this perplexing pattern of thought, feeling and behavior, until now, many of us have learned and practiced throughout of lives.

Literature or discussions of positive adaptation have historically been associated with positive psychology and/or traumatic events therapy. I propose a much more universal and expanded version which can be applied to everyday living. Thus, 'Positive Adaptation' emerged.

'Positive Adaptation' is: one part thinking, one part feeing and one part doing, (action). The trick is discovering how to utilize all three, not necessarily in this particular order. All three parts must be implemented throughout the process to achieve optimal positive results.

Incorporating Positive Adaptation into our daily lives is simple, but admittedly, not always easy. It takes practice and time, but it can be done! I am living proof.  I and many others have already made the choice to positively change, so can you! Life is to be lived and enjoyed, not merely survived or feeling as if you only exist.

Offering images, quotes, analogies, feel good music and personal examples, this blog will explain what Positive Adaptation is and how it works. 

It is never to soon or too late to become who you are meant to be and enjoy life to it's fullest!

Today, let us all choose to have greater positive feelings about ourselves and on our outlook on life. Just take the time to look around..... it is a wonderful world and we are part of it.

Let's begin anew today.
Victoria

(For those of you who have previously read this overview, please just consider it a gentle reminder.)

(Photos by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan)