Now this is a pattern that works!
One that let's us walk through
life with the ability to love
ourselves and allow others
in to our hearts.
Once we have identified and discarded the patterns that were no longer useful, (the ones which had kept us from being the best we could be), we are free to form new ones that do. We may not always know what we want but a good place to start is knowing what we don't want.
This is vital to the concept of Positive Adaptation. As we are free to think differently about ourselves, we begin to know that we deserve better than we've allowed ourselves to think.
No longer must we need see ourselves through anyone else's mirror, believing what they saw or said was forever true of us. We can choose to view ourselves with an honest self appraisal and move forward from here.
I had a client whose brother said horrible and painful words to her constantly. Things like: "You are stupid... and ugly... and worthless". For almost 30 years, she took his words to heart. Deep down inside, no matter what her accomplishments were, there was still a part of her that believed him. We worked together on shattering that old mirror she had been looking through. It was her brother's reflection of himself, not hers.
Finally, she realized: "He was wrong", "He does not know me and he never did". Today, this client sees herself through her own mirror and is thinking, feeling and doing much better. She is happier now. She loves herself, her work and .... is about to be married to a wonderful guy. She knows she deserves it all! She is free to be the best she can be and loving every minute of it!
Breaking old, self-destructive patterns really does allow us the freedom to think, feel and act differently.
Here are to the new and improved patterns in your life!
(photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan)