Saturday, February 28, 2009

New and Improved Patterns

Now this is a pattern that works!

One that let's us walk through
life with the ability to love
ourselves and allow others
in to our hearts.

Once we have identified and discarded the patterns that were no longer useful, (the ones which had kept us from being the best we could be), we are free to form new ones that do. We may not always know what we want but a good place to start is knowing what we don't want.

This is vital to the concept of Positive Adaptation. As we are free to think differently about ourselves, we begin to know that we deserve better than we've  allowed ourselves to think.

No longer must we need see ourselves through anyone else's mirror, believing what they saw or said was forever true of us. We can choose to view ourselves with an honest self appraisal and move forward from here.

I had a client whose brother said horrible and painful words to her constantly. Things like: "You are stupid... and ugly... and worthless". For almost 30 years, she took his words to heart. Deep down inside, no matter what her accomplishments were, there was still a part of her that believed him.  We worked together on shattering that old mirror she had been looking through. It was her brother's reflection of himself, not hers.  

Finally, she realized: "He was wrong", "He does not know me and he never did".  Today, this client sees herself through her own mirror and is thinking, feeling and doing much better.  She is happier now. She loves herself, her work and .... is about to be married to a wonderful guy.  She knows she deserves it all! She is free to be the best she can be and loving every minute of it!

Breaking old, self-destructive patterns really does allow us the freedom to think, feel and act differently.

Here are to the new and improved patterns in your life! 


(photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Let's Begin- Learn to Identify Patterns.

"To understand is to
perceive patterns"
  - Isaiah Berlin

"Creativity involves
breaking out of 
established patterns
in order to look at 
things in a 
different way"
 - Edward de Bono

Common Questions I Hear?
"Why does this keep happening to me?"
"Why can't I just find the right partner
 and be happy" 
"When will I feel better about myself and my life?"

The answer: Just as soon as you choose to!
We all have patterns of thought, the feelings and the actions they provoke, embedded in us.  Whether they be from the distant past, family related, or more current, these patterns exist. Until we learn to identify them and decide to change them, we will not change nor will our lives.

The process, Positive Adaptation,  is simple but not always easy. Identifying the thinking patterns that still work and discarding the ones found to be harmful, takes time. First, we have to choose to want better for ourselves! We have to be willing to think, feel and do whatever it takes to achieve the change we seek.

I can tell you from personal experience change can be difficult.  I can also state, without hesitation, the changes I have made have been worth every ounce of effort. I feel good about myself, my relationships, my work and my life. I live life and feel joyful most everyday.  However, on those days when I don't, (which happen from time to time), I know what I can do to get back on track.
You can too!

So go ahead, take the leap. Take one of the first steps to achieving what you really want, optimal well being. Begin with closely looking at the patterns of your life that have gotten you where you are now. Make the decision to break and change the ones that are simply not working for you! Be creative enough to see the difference. 

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".  Take this step today, as there is no time like the present to decide to think, feel and do better!

More on patterns to come....


(Photos by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Coming Soon to a Computer Near You....

I will be putting up my first "official" post in the next day or so. At that time, I will be offering an overview of what I mean when I use the term "Positive Adaptation".  
Until then, enjoy the slide show and music and maybe, think about what those words mean to you, now.
See you back here, very soon.