Remember: "Faith Is Believing..."

"Faith is believing in things even when common sense
 tells you not to."

This is my definition of faith, borrowed from the movie "Miracle on 34th Street".  It remains, for me, one of the most practical and simple ways to understand the concept,  I have yet to hear a better one.

Movie Clip:  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2sjRRcONOc


Although simplistic in nature, it can be quite difficult to keep believing all of the time,  Let's face it, real life can get in the way of faith, especially in adulthood.

We may not have the relationship, the job, toy  or whatever it is we so want, After all, even the real Santa Claus, (as exemplified in the movie), cannot do everything,

However, we must not lose faith, belief and our sense of wonderment in all that we can become and have, if we work for it.  The truth: Much of the work is ours to do. "Faith without works, is dead."

We can "Think, Feel and Do" our way into becoming the best we can be and thus, become capable of living and enjoying life to the fullest. This, as with any other endeavor, requires faith and belief, in  ourselves, first and foremost!

For your consideration, below is a list of some more of my favorite quotes regarding faith, (non religious in nature):

Michelangelo: "Achieving anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Faith in oneself… is the best and safest course."

Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Eleanor Roosevelt: "He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all."

Richard M. Devos: "The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible."

Elizabeth Barrett Browning: "If you desire faith, then you have faith enough."

Of course, having faith alone is not enough as it is said,"Faith without works is dead" is also a truism. We must learn to be our own Santas; active participants in the process of our lives.

Believing in ourselves, we can "Think, Feel and Do" better and thus enjoy our lives more fully.

Faith comes from your heart. May you keep yours near and dear in all endeavors. Keep believing and doing the work required and you too will find happiness, which itself is success.

There is no doubt  these last couple of years have been especially difficult for many us, however, if you really take a look back, I believe you may also see some positives.

Remember, "Faith is believing when common sense tell us not to". Try to keep and work towards this type of faith, this Holiday Season, and throughout the coming year.

This year, let us be grateful for all we have in our lives and have the faith, belief and willingness to make next year even better, in all areas of our lives.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season.

Victoria

Begin To Be The Change You Seek - Part 2

The view from the rear view mirror

of the sign in Part 1. If you haven't already,

I suggest you read Part 1 first.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

~ Maya Angelou

If we are willing to be honest with ourselves, we know when we are not feeling the best we could, being the best we can be and doing the best we can. We know when we are not living and enjoying our lives to the fullest.

When we know this to our core and have a developed a pretty clear sense as to why, the next questions must then become: Now what? What am I going to do about it? Exactly how am I going to make the changes I must to Think, Feel and Do better in the future?

We need a plan, a step by step outline, so we may ultimately achieve the positive changes we seek.

The first and most important step is to determine IF we have the power to make the changes. If the power to successfully achieve positive change is within us, that is one thing. If the cause of our discontentment is someone or something else, outside of us, that is another.

Yet no matter what the source of our sense of unhappiness, please remember, we always have the power to change our attitude toward whatever or whomever is causing us this unhappiness and just how much we let it/them negatively effect us. This is especially true if the real culprit is us.

The Serenity Prayer

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

I often say to my clients and friends, "Yes, this is a simple concept, yet in reality, it is not so easy to do in everyday life." Admittedly, it may not be that easy, but indeed, doable!

Our attitude can and will, alter how we Think, Feel and Do. Negativity begets negativity. Positivity offers us a much greater chance at achieving positive results.

One of the first issues we need to address is the difference between compromise and settling. Compromise is always preferable! Is it realistic to believe you and the other person are both willing and capable to make the necessary changes so that both your wants and needs are met? Is a healthy compromise possible? If so, I say go for it!

On the other hand, "Settling", (I define as, accepting the unacceptable), I do not recommend to anyone. Settling is certainly not, nor should ever be considered, a long term solution to any of our "problems".

Settling is the road which may have lead us here, to this unhappy place. It most certainly will not lead us to the changes and happiness we seek. In fact, remaining on this old road, more times than not, eventually will lead us to feel even worse, more resentful toward ourselves and others, as no real, acceptable changes have been made. We deserve better than this.

We must make the necessary changes, break old patterns of thought, feeling and actions, learn to compromise and not settle, so that we may create conditions to be ripe for us to Think, Feel and Do, better.

We must try new ways! Take the "Change exit off the old road". This is the path which will lead us to living and enjoying a happier life - one filled with happiness and joy.

We should never settle for less than we are capable of, or willing to do or worth. Would you ask your child, spouse or anyone else you love to settle? I think not!  So, why then would you ask this of yourself? Ask the best of yourself and you will see and feel positive results.

We must believe we are worth more/better and then learn to Think, Feel and Do, better. Be the change you seek and you shall find it.

Positive change and greater happiness are just one exit away on the road of life! Take it and begin to be the change you seek! 

More thoughts on how to achieve positive change coming in next posts. I hope you will stay with me on this journey.

Victoria

We Are The Change We Seek!

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

~ Gandhi

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person, some other time. We are the ones we have been waiting for. We are the change we seek."

~ Pres. Barack Obama

If you have read any of my posts, (especially if you have read several of them), you know I believe this to be true: If you are not feeling your best and/or believe your relationships could be better, the time for change is now.

I am not suggesting just waking up and ending a marriage, breaking off a relationship or any other sudden shift in your life. However, nor should we just sit and wait for other people, situations or "things" around us to change. Things don't change....People do!

What have the power to change ourselves, at anytime. NOTE: Just because that's the way it's always been does not mean that's the way it always has to be.

(This may be a great time to re-read my post entitled "Ruby Slippers"!)

If you can honestly say, (as you are already feeling), you are not as happy as you believe you can be then the answer is simple:  The time for change is now! Why not begin your positive changes today?

As a clinician, I often hear, "Well, yes, I want things to change, me to change, BUT...I am scared of it too!" Fair enough, many of us are fearful of change. So maybe, right now, you cannot say, "I want to change!" and mean it 100%. Maybe you are only ready to say, "I want to want to change." That is good enough for now. That too, is a start!

With an open mind and heart, time and work, you too will get here. If you can learn to believe in yourself and believe you deserve to be happy, you will make the necessary changes.

First we must think and feel about what, exactly, it is that is not "working" for us right now. Besides not having won the lottery last night, (as money does not buy happiness anyway, it only makes misery more comfortable), we must ask ourselves some important questions. WHY am I not happy and WHAT can I DO to change this?

Are we taking good enough care of ourselves? Do we like/love ourselves as much as we can? Whether it be a relationship or job, or just feeling "stuck" or stagnant in our lives, remember to consider: Is it really them or me who needs to make the changes? Even if you wish they would change, would your making the necessary changes you need at least help your situation? *Again, remember, we cannot change them, ("they" have to be willing and capable of change).

Part 2 will be all about the How To's! Once we have a pretty clear idea as to what changes are needed, the question then becomes: Now what? and What are we going to DO about it? We need a plan, a step by step outline, so we may ultimately achieve the changes we seek and also be able to measure how we are doing along the way.

I feel the winds of change in the air. Do you?

Feel free to contact me for assistance on your journey! Visit: http://www.victoriabaum.com

I look forward to hearing from you!
Victoria

It's In The Journey

It's the Journey.....not the destination.

You probably have heard this one a million times.

But do you really believe it?  Do you live your life this way?

It is the journey that matters most because the destination may always be changing.  Life is really just one big journey with many crossroads along the way.

Many of us feel these are 'some scary times' we live in. We often find ourselves full of fear, anger and doubt.

Today, we can choose a different path. A path which will help us move forward on our journey successfully and one where we will find ourselves looking back, only to realize we came through it all, feeling, thinking and doing, 'better' than ever before.

At this crossroad, let us take a moment to be still, take a deep breath and  look around at the all the beauty in our lives, feel gratitude for all we do have and know in our hearts, WE will be okay.  

Enjoy this quiet, peaceful, resting place. We all deserve a break once in a while.

So go ahead.... allow yourself this one.

Happy New Year!

Victoria

Happy Thanksgiving - Gratitude Is Both An Attitude And Action

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."  
      ~ John F. Kennedy

No matter what has happened this year, I am certain, if you really think about it, you can find much to be grateful for.

May we show our gratitude, in word and deed, all year long.

And then maybe, just maybe, there will be even more to feel grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, from me and mine.

Victoria

What Matters Is What Happens In You!

"Things may happen around you

and things may happen to you,

but the only thing that really matters

is what happens in you."

~Elise Robinson

Whether we are in the midst of chaos, just getting by or doing well, we can always do better! We need to fill our minds with positivity to seek out opportunities and solutions, which until now, we had yet to consider. To achieve this, we must change how we view ourselves and our world around us.

We all need a plan, a road map if you will. Positive Adaptation is just that: 'Think, Feel and Do' your best and then you will live and enjoy life to the fullest.

When faced with a 'problem' or you are baffled as to what to do next, instead of being fearful or angry, try looking at it for what it really is: an opportunity for positive personal growth.

'Think, Feel and Do' differently than you have in the past. Open your heart and mind to all the of possibilities. With this type of positive view, (and actions), your results are much more likely to be positive, as well.

In our ongoing search for our best selves, a life filled with love, health and happiness, let us remember what matters most is what happens inside of ourselves.

Victoria

Keep Your Balance - How and Why

"Life is a great balancing act." ~ Dr.Seuss

We do not have to wait until we have lost our balance, completely, to find it. The key to keeping your balance is to  first acknowledge you may be feeling a bit wobbly. 

Consider yourself a gymnast on the balance beam of life. Have you ever watched what they do when they realize they are losing their balance? They start to wobble, then their arms start to flail around, all in an effort to regain control, find their center and solid footing, back on that beam.  Do they ever fall off the beam, sure, sometimes, but please take note: they always get back up and try again. 

We do have a lot to balance in our lives: family, friends, work, financial concerns, community and personal, 'me', time. It is simple but not so easy! We can only decide to do our best by continually trying to find our center, keep our balance and stay up on that beam.  

When our lives are in balance we feel better, our self esteem and sense of worth is higher, our relationships are at their best and it is here we find our greatest joy and true happiness. This is what living life to the fullest is all about!

Positive Adaptation can assist you: 'Think, Feel and Do'. We can begin by prioritizing, placing in a healthy order, our needs and wants; they are not the same. Think and feel about each one; which are your highest priorities, why and when you discover what is what and who is who... DO something about it.  A balance beam is always just a balance beam, things don't change, we do. 

Discover where your center is and you will have found your balance. The good news is you already possess what you need. It is already inside you waiting to be found and utilized, (see older post "Ruby Slippers').  

Albert Einstein said: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving".  We are human so we may indeed lose our balance and fall off once in a while.  

Let's make the decision to keep moving forward to our place of balance as this is where our happiness lies.  If we get wobbly, we will just keep at it!

"And will we succeed? 98  3/4% Guaranteed!"   From: "Oh The Places You Will Go", by Dr. Seuss, my pick for greatest 'self help' book ever written.

Make it a great one,

Victoria

You Can Choose!

"With all that has happened to you, 
you can either feel sorry for yourself,
or treat all that has happened, as gifts. 
Everything is either an opportunity to grow 
or an obstacle to keep you from growing.
You get to choose."
~original author unkown


Sure, we may feel down and negative after things do not turn out the way we had hoped they would. However, in the long run, remaining in this mode only leads us to feeling more like victims.


A friend and mentor of mine, Dr. Susan Jeffers, is the author of, (among many others), Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway.  She published a list of key points on how to make better, (even if tougher), choices. 
Today I share with you:  http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/article.cfm


Another great book on how to make better choices is The Right Questions, by Debbie Ford.  Ford outlines "The 10 Right Questions" with clarity while offering a road map on how to and why: "If we want our lives to be different, better, then we must learn to make new choices which will lead us to new actions. These should be based on asking the right questions of ourselves."   When we do as Ford suggests, the chances we will experience better, more positive outcomes, goes way up.


Ford encourages the reader by reminding them that asking these questions "will give you the power and inspiration to consciously create a life you feel good about, one choice at a time."


Like Debbie Ford, I once read a statement by Tony Robbins, that continues to resonate with me today, "Quality questions create a quality life."


The choice is ours! We can choose to view experiences negatively or as opportunities for positive growth which will transform us into survivors!  If we have truly learned something, gained even better coping skills, eventually, we will think, feel and do better the next time.  


Positive growth is about being willing to ask ourselves the, tough, right questions, learning to make the best choices for ourselves and then having the courage to act upon them.


Be assured: I choose positive growth; no matter how difficult the path.


Victoria

1/1/11 - A Special Year Ahead

To A Special Year!
1/1/11 - 1/11/11 - 11/11/11
and everyday

Apollo 11:
First manned mission
 to land on the moon

DaVinci's "The Last Supper:
If you look closely, there
are 11 rectangles and 11 hands
on both the right and left side

If you believe in Numerology, Astrology or in my case, mere coincidence, the number 11 has had significant meaning throughout history; including the belief that the number 11 has mystical powers.

It also has been said that the number 11 is: "the life path of illumination, enlightenment and spirituality", "represents balance", "a number that says: Pay Attention". 

2011 also represents "The end of the Mayan Calendar and the beginning of a universal shift". Maybe 2011 is the year we do indeed pay more attention and strive for more clarity and balance by actively seeking greater positive changes in ourselves and our lives. I know I will do my best!

May 2011 be a wonderful year, full of new beginnings, for us all.

Happy New Year!

Victoria

Alone Does Not Have To Mean Lonely

As the holidays approach, many people find themselves feeling especially lonely.  This video was sent to me by a friends and I believe, through visuals, music and words, it shows that alone does not need to mean lonely.

Please watch "How To Be Alone" and decide for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

I believe the most lonely anyone ever feels is when they are in a crowd of people and they are uncomfortable with themselves; not when they are alone and in an "okay" place with themselves.

We can be our best company. We can think, feel and do better with this concept and accompanying feelings, starting now.

So, before the actual holiday season is completely upon us, let's contemplate the message in the video above and take some action.

There is much joy and freedom to be found when you care about yourself enough to be alone, without feeling lonely. A big goal for some, sure, but a very obtainable one. In fact, being able to be okay alone usually makes being with others that much more enjoyable.

Please let me know your thoughts on this concept and the video.

Until next time,
Victoria

A Time of Renewal and Change

It is Spring time.... a time of renewal and change.
  

"It is not the strongest of species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."  

~ Charles Darwin

Change is inevitable! We know this to be true, intellectually. However, most of us are resistant to change, first and responsive to it second.  

Fair enough; change can be frightening.  We do not generally embrace change naturally and without some resistance.  No, first we need to think about why we must change, work through our feelings about it and then take the necessary actions to make change.  

The term 'adaptation' literally means something, such as a behavior, that is changed so as to become more suitable to a new or special situation. Utilizing Positive Adaptation as a method we can become more responsive and less resistant to all types of changes. One way to accomplish this is to view change with a more positive attitude, not as the enemy, but rather, as an opportunity for positive growth and a chance at a form of renewal.

Whether or not we thought about changing,  invited the circumstance or the need arose that required us to do so, we must learn to become more accepting of and responsive to change.  This is yet another way to become the best we can be - allowing us to live 'happier', 'better' lives.  We can go through the process of change with less fear and gain greater confidence in our ability to adapt.

If flowers can change naturally, we, too, can learn to adapt and change with greater ease, grace and comfort.

To becoming more responsive to your time of renewal and change...

Victoria

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

Happy New Year!

2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rId95N2teUc&feature=related

At the stroke of midnight, New Year's Eve, this song is played all over the world. In the film "When Harry Met Sally", after he declares his love for her at a party, Harry says to Sally, "I never really understood what the song meant. I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot?' Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?"

I am with you Harry! What does that song really mean? You know what, it doesn't really matter!

What does matter is that we take all we have experienced and learned in the year passing and use it to help us make the new year even better, the best one yet!

One way to achieve this is to learn and practice 'Positive Adaptation'. We can all strive, learn and become 'better'; better to ourselves, our spouses and children, friends and family, our careers and better with all others with whom we interact.

Let us make our New Year's Resolution, (and keep it!), this year to practicing Positive Adaptation. May we all 'Think, Feel and Do' our best and thus enjoy life to the fullest in 2010!

Let the Good Times Roll and remember Happy Days Are Here! (music to both on the right side of text)

May this be the best year yet for us all!

Victoria

Take a Break - Relax to the Sounds and Sight of the Surf

"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind." ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When was the last time you spent a few quiet moments doing nothing but giving your body and mind a chance to rest?

We all need breaks from the action of daily living. We must learn to allow ourselves time to rejuvenate.

It takes positive energy to be the best we can be, live and enjoy life to the fullest.

After some much needed rest, we will be ready and able to move forward again and utilizing the three principles of Positive Adaptation: Think, Feel and Do, we will do just that.

So for now, make some time for yourself to just relax and be still. Even if it is only for a few short minutes a day, I believe you will Feel better for having done so.

Enjoy your quiet time.

Victoria