Keep Your Balance - How and Why

"Life is a great balancing act." ~ Dr.Seuss

We do not have to wait until we have lost our balance, completely, to find it. The key to keeping your balance is to  first acknowledge you may be feeling a bit wobbly. 

Consider yourself a gymnast on the balance beam of life. Have you ever watched what they do when they realize they are losing their balance? They start to wobble, then their arms start to flail around, all in an effort to regain control, find their center and solid footing, back on that beam.  Do they ever fall off the beam, sure, sometimes, but please take note: they always get back up and try again. 

We do have a lot to balance in our lives: family, friends, work, financial concerns, community and personal, 'me', time. It is simple but not so easy! We can only decide to do our best by continually trying to find our center, keep our balance and stay up on that beam.  

When our lives are in balance we feel better, our self esteem and sense of worth is higher, our relationships are at their best and it is here we find our greatest joy and true happiness. This is what living life to the fullest is all about!

Positive Adaptation can assist you: 'Think, Feel and Do'. We can begin by prioritizing, placing in a healthy order, our needs and wants; they are not the same. Think and feel about each one; which are your highest priorities, why and when you discover what is what and who is who... DO something about it.  A balance beam is always just a balance beam, things don't change, we do. 

Discover where your center is and you will have found your balance. The good news is you already possess what you need. It is already inside you waiting to be found and utilized, (see older post "Ruby Slippers').  

Albert Einstein said: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving".  We are human so we may indeed lose our balance and fall off once in a while.  

Let's make the decision to keep moving forward to our place of balance as this is where our happiness lies.  If we get wobbly, we will just keep at it!

"And will we succeed? 98  3/4% Guaranteed!"   From: "Oh The Places You Will Go", by Dr. Seuss, my pick for greatest 'self help' book ever written.

Make it a great one,

Victoria

Today Is Your Day! (The Rest and Best-Part 2)

"Today Is Your Day..."

"Oh The Places You Will Go"    
~ Dr. Seuss

Today is the day, the only one we have to become our best selves. Remember, it is never too late to become who you are meant to be and to enjoy life to the fullest. Let us begin anew, today!

Positive Adaptation teaches us that we all have the power, within us, to 'Think, Feel and Do' better. Whether the improvement sought is personal, professional, relational, financial or a combination, PA offers a guide, a way of living which assists us in finding and maintaining the healthy balance we seek.

(Read Positive Adaptation - An Overview at: http://positiveadaptation.blogspot.com/2009/02/positive-adaptation-overview.html)

Positive Adaptation is a simple concept, however, not always easy in daily practice. Our patterns of 'Thinking, Feeling and Doing' are generally learned early on in life and all too often become ingrained, first nature to us. We must choose to identify the patterns that, to date, have not been working for us and then discover new, better ways to handle whatever life challenges are presented us. We have everything we need to do so, now, already within us.

Just because 'that is the way it has always been' does not mean that is the way it always has to be. Change requires courage, even when the change is for the better. We have to learn to walk through any fears we may have, as not doing so keeps us where we have always been. I love how simply Susan Jeffers's stated how to work through fear: "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

The way to achieve change is not to go around it or in avoiding it. The only way to achieve our best selves is having the courage to go through change.

Life is to not to be survived or merely existed. Life is to be experienced, savored and enjoyed. Why would we choose to settle for a 'status quo' that has not lead us where we wanted to go when we can do better?

Empower yourself! Make the decision to 'Think, Feel and Do' your best today. "You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes. You can decide which direction to choose."

This brings me to what I believe is the greatest 'self help' book written to date, (as I have yet to publish mine), Dr. Suess's "Oh The Places You will Go."

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

you're off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So...get on your way!

---Dr. Seuss


Today is your day, enjoy it!
Victoria

Put Your Mask On First

Place your oxygen mask

on first......

Have you ever been on an airplane and watched a flight attendant, (or now, a video), demonstrate the "oxygen mask procedure"? They always instruct you to place your mask on yourself first before helping anyone else with theirs. Always.  They never say, "Of course this is really selfish of you, but hey, what the heck".  No, they go on to explain even if you are traveling with your own child, you must put your mask on first so you will be able to help them with theirs.

I used to think to myself, "No way! I am going to help my child first." That is until I really understood the logic and the difference between acting selfishly and practicing self care.  

Simply defined, selfish is being concerned only with yourself to the exclusion of others.  Self care is being actively concerned about yourself AND others. In practicing self care we are including ourselves in our list of most important people and others will benefit too. 

Many of us make attending to the needs and wants of others first a way of life. This just comes naturally to us. Like blinking, we may not even realize we are doing it. We may be born caretakers, worriers, controllers or just innately nurturing. There are times this may prove to be harmful to us, in many ways, if we are not taking care of ourselves. 

That is until something happens.  We may have feelings which have been building up for a long time.  Yet, it seems as if all of a sudden, we experience anger, sadness, resentment, anxiety, frustration, feel completely drained and/or become physically ill.  It is only then that we realize we have reached our own breaking point.  We have given so much of ourselves to others but not enough to ourselves.  As a result, now we 'cannot breathe'. Two of the most commonly used terms to describe this crisis state are "caregiver stress" and "burnout".

If we cannot breathe  how much help can we really be to anyone else? We must always remember to put our mask on first so that we can be there for ourselves and others. I came to embrace this way of thinking as not being selfish at all, but rather, participating in my own self care program.

I am a mother, a wife, a sibling, a friend, a volunteer, a blogger and a practicing therapist. I was also the adult child of aging parents, (now deceased), and openly admit I have suffered from caregiver stress in the past.

I have come to understand that to be the best I can be, (at any or all of these roles), I must take care of myself and allow others to help me ,as well.  

Believing in self care is not selfish.  It is the only lasting way to be of service to myself and others.

I hope you will consider putting your mask on first too!

Victoria

Love Is Like A Flower

“Love is like a flower, and, like the body, 
it needs constant feeding. 
The mortal body would soon be emaciated
and die if there were not frequent feedings.
The tender flower would wither and die
without food and water. 
And so love, also, cannot be expected
to last forever unless it is continually
fed with portions of love, 
the manifestation of esteem and admiration,
the expressions of gratitude, 
and the consideration of unselfishness.” 
    ~ Spencer W. Kimball

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

When was the last time, (if ever), you laughed like this?
Laughter brings light where there is darkness.
Watch this video and tell me how you could help yourself from not laughing!
Enjoy!
Victoria

One Mother's Send Off

Congratulations! 

Today is your day. 

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away! 

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes. 

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You're mountain is waiting. 

So.... go, get on your way.

~  Dr. Seuss - "Oh, the Places You'll Go!"

It has always been out there, off in the future, however, now is "really" the time.  

My only child is leaving my nest. It is time to go off to college,

continuing his personal journey to be the best he can be.

A time of wonderful, positive possibilities for him

and the truest test of Positive Adaptation for me.

I have always said I want to grow up and be just like him.

I still do.

I believe he is ready. 

But am I?

For all those who know me, hard to believe, but true,
I am left, (almost), speechless.

My Dear One:
Go forth, meet new people, have new life altering experiences. Share your special self with others and allow them to do the same with you.  Learn new things and above all, enjoy yourself!

Remember, as I watch from the bleachers, know that I am in awe of you.

Now go, spread your wings, with the absolute knowledge:
I love you, "To infinity and beyond"
Mom
xo

Let's Play Ball

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

"It's hard to beat a guy, (gal), who never gives up." ~ Babe Ruth


"Everyday is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put it's failures behind and start over again.  That is the way life is; a new game every day and that's the way baseball is." ~Bob Feller

We cannot be 'happier' if we do not at least try!  Positive Adaptation offers a way to Think, Feel and Do your way into being the best you can be and enjoying life to the fullest.  Life is too short not to at least take a swing at it!

Consider the movie "Field of Dreams".  You know, "If you build it, they will come". Kevin Costner's character thought about it, felt deeply and then did what most thought was the impossible, he built it and they did come! He fulfilled his dream, shared it with others and so can you.

"There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happens." ~Tommy Lasorda.  Which one do you want to be? 
 
Lou Gehrig, even after discovering he was ill, kept a positive attitude. He told the entire world he might have had a tough break but still considered himself the luckiest man on earth. 
 
The fact is you cannot win unless you play, right? Why not make the decision to come out from the stands, where you have merely been watching and choose to get in the game, of life! 


Remember, it is not whether you win or lose, it is how you play. All we ever need to do is be and do our best.

There is no such thing as three strikes and you are out in life! 


Keep at it, you are bound to hit one, maybe even out of the park!


Victoria

Believe & Happy Holidays

     It's always the season to Believe; 

Happy Holidays.

Believe in what your heart is saying.

Believe in what you feel inside and

Give your dreams the wings to fly.

Happy Holidays to you and yours,

From me and mine.

Victoria

Photos by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

With Change Comes Freedom

The road of positive change leads to renewal, happiness and freedom.

We continually need to make changes, (internally and often externally), to be the best we can be and do the best we can do. Doing so allows us to enjoy and live life to the fullest. With positive change comes happiness and real freedom.

I have written about change in the last several posts because we are in between seasons and change is in the air. The leaves have been changing their colors and now the trees are shedding the old in preparation for renewal in the spring. We are much like leaves and trees.

"Every human has four endowments: self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom...The power to choose, to respond, to change."~ Stephen R. Covey

The change called for may be of learning acceptance, (compromise, not settling), forgiveness, (ourselves and others), improved self care, and/or any of the other suggestions found throughout this blog site. We can make any change necessary, much more comfortably and with greater confidence, than ever before.

Whether personal, professional and/or relational, make the necessary changes. Remain open minded and fearless about becoming your best self. As my friend, Susan Jeffers proposes: "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway".

There really is no other way. "The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage." ~Thucydides

Try living through Positive Adaptation: 'Think, Feel and Do' differently. Positive change and renewal promote the happiness and freedom we seek.

Begin your renewal today.

Victoria

* Please go through my archives for more ideas and suggestions on how you can be the best you can be!

Photos by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan

You Can't Please Everyone, So....

"But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone so ya got to please yourself"

~Ricky Nelson ("Garden Party")

Living life trying to please everyone is not only a daunting task, but is nearly impossible to do and remain healthy, (emotionally and/or physically), simultaneously. Of course we want to make other people happy but it cannot be at our own expense.

Attempting to live your life this way is how one becomes, (or remains), what is commonly know as a "People Pleaser" and is not the way to be your best self, live and enjoy life to the fullest. You cannot please everyone, but we must try to be truly pleased with ourselves. We must learn and continue to understand where 'they' end and 'we' begin.

Utilizing the principles of Positive Adaptation, you can learn to both please yourself and many others as well. We must 'Think, Feel and Do' our way into new, healthier and more realistic life skills.

Saying "No" or "Not now", once in a while, especially when necessary, is healthy. Being a parent has helped me learn this lesson well. Just imagine if we never heard or used the word 'no'. 'No' is a part of teaching, learning and practicing healthy boundaries. How many hot stoves should a child be allowed to put their hands on?

We can not be everything to everyone nor can we do everything, especially at the same time. What we can be and do is our best. This is true for all relationships; including marriage, dating, friendships, parenting, as well as, in the work place.

The truth is everyone may not be happy with us 100% of the time but we must remain true to ourselves. If not, the results will be that WE will be unhappy most of the time!

Take a moment out today when something is asked of you. Please give extra consideration to your answer. Ask yourself: "Is this the answer I really want to give or the answer I feel I am supposed to or need to give as to avoid experiencing rejection or conflict?"

In other words, try Positive Adaptation and 'Think, Feel and Do' differently today. If you feel 'No', 'Not now" or 'I really would rather not.', go ahead, express it, (in the nicest, most respectful fashion, of course).

Others, just as you have, will live through being told 'no' once in awhile. We cannot be the best we can be if we never do. Being a 'people pleaser' is not the way to emotional or physical health and well being.... being the best you can be today is.

'Think, Feel and Do' your best today. Try saying 'no' if that is how you really feel. Remember, you can't please everyone but you must try to be pleased with yourself!

Happy 4th of July!

Victoria

Maintain Your High Hopes

Who says you can't have high hopes and achieve whatever you set your heart, mind and body to? Robert Kennedy said: "Only those who dare to to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."

Positive Adaptation's three elements; 'Think, Feel and Do' your best are also reflected well in these Ralph Marston quotes:


"Don't lower your expectations to meet your performance, rather, raise your level of performance to meet your expectations."


"Expect the best of yourself and then do what is necessary to make it a reality. Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.


Take a moment to think about some of the strongest, positive, successful people you admire most. What are they famous for thinking, saying and/or doing? 


One that always comes to my mind is John F. Kennedy, (who's campaign song actually was "High Hopes", by Frank Sinatra). JFK asked: "If not now, then when? If not us, then who?"


What the people who came to your mind and you may have in common is their belief in themselves and the fortitude to stay committed to becoming the best they can be, while also helping others do the same, no matter what obstacles may fall in their path.


We, too, are capable of staying positive, strong and becoming successful, (in all areas of our lives). We do not need to lower our expectations below acceptable levels.

We can and will expect the best out of ourselves. We will dare to succeed. We can be happy and live rich, full lives.


So today, try humming the song "High Hopes" and remember, "Next time your found with your chin on the ground, there is a lot to be learned, so look around." Maintain your high hopes, "Your high apple pie in the sky hopes."


Make it a wonderful day!
Victoria

You Can Choose!

"With all that has happened to you, 
you can either feel sorry for yourself,
or treat all that has happened, as gifts. 
Everything is either an opportunity to grow 
or an obstacle to keep you from growing.
You get to choose."
~original author unkown


Sure, we may feel down and negative after things do not turn out the way we had hoped they would. However, in the long run, remaining in this mode only leads us to feeling more like victims.


A friend and mentor of mine, Dr. Susan Jeffers, is the author of, (among many others), Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway.  She published a list of key points on how to make better, (even if tougher), choices. 
Today I share with you:  http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/article.cfm


Another great book on how to make better choices is The Right Questions, by Debbie Ford.  Ford outlines "The 10 Right Questions" with clarity while offering a road map on how to and why: "If we want our lives to be different, better, then we must learn to make new choices which will lead us to new actions. These should be based on asking the right questions of ourselves."   When we do as Ford suggests, the chances we will experience better, more positive outcomes, goes way up.


Ford encourages the reader by reminding them that asking these questions "will give you the power and inspiration to consciously create a life you feel good about, one choice at a time."


Like Debbie Ford, I once read a statement by Tony Robbins, that continues to resonate with me today, "Quality questions create a quality life."


The choice is ours! We can choose to view experiences negatively or as opportunities for positive growth which will transform us into survivors!  If we have truly learned something, gained even better coping skills, eventually, we will think, feel and do better the next time.  


Positive growth is about being willing to ask ourselves the, tough, right questions, learning to make the best choices for ourselves and then having the courage to act upon them.


Be assured: I choose positive growth; no matter how difficult the path.


Victoria

We all need a little help; someone to lean on, once in a while!

We all need a little help sometimes!

Someone to lean

on and help us get

our feet back

on the ground.

We all can and will need some help, at sometime in our lives. Having people in our lives that we can lean on is important to our over all sense of optimal well being. Consider the words of John Donne: "No man is an island".

We can learn to accept help or "lean" on family, partners, friends and/or the random acts of kindness from strangers. We can learn to welcome and embrace it without becoming dependent on it, (this is the fear or pattern of many).

Why is it that many of us either have such a difficult time asking for help and others of us, so easily expect and rely upon it? For many, disappointment in ourselves and others have formed a brick wall around us. Such negative experiences, events and feelings may have convinced some they need no one. In fact, others' support leaves some people to feel that they cannot negotiate life without others, leaving them uncomfortably vulnerable.

This has always been an interesting phenomenon to me. Maybe the answers lies in how and what we learned as children, how we integrated this into our adult lives and the cumulative effect of previous and more recent disappointments we have experienced.

I believe there is absolutely no shame in asking for or needing help once in a while, especially when it is needed. The real shame is in living totally reliant upon it or being utterly unable or unwilling to ask for and/or receive it.

We must also remember to seek the help we need from those who are capable of doing giving it. If not, we will be setting ourselves up for even more disappointment. We must learn to choose wisely. If we ask someone and they cannot, please leave yourself open to believing that another can and will! Trust me, we, (they), are out there.

As I often write and speak about, (as with many other issues), balance is always the key!

As a national and local responder for the American Red Cross: Disaster Mental Health Team, (in addition to being a licensed mental health clinician in private practice), I have seen thousands of people in need of help.

Let us consider survivors of disasters. Most survivors are willing to accept the material type of help offered; such as food, shelter and clothing, however, there are many less willing to accept, let alone ask for, assistance dealing with their emotional state of well being.

Feeling yourself to be strong is a good thing, however,"help" is not a dirty word nor does it mean the need for it equals weakness. The truth is, we all need a little help, someone to lean on, once in a while. It should not take a major disaster or life alerting event, to be open to the notion of requiring "help".

Lest us not forget....if we, ourselves, cannot ask for or accept help, how then can we be there, fully, for others when they do? Remembering "No man, (or woman), is an island" and be a person who helps others, as well as yourself.  This really is another route to being the best we can be!

Positive Adaptation's proposes that we 'Think Feel and Do' better, become the best you, you can be, live and enjoy life to the fullest.

Let us try to 'Think, Feel and Do' better at being more open to asking for, receiving and being fully present to 'help'. May we learn how to lean on others, (when needed), and become someone who can be leaned upon.

Victoria

* Thank you to all of my "helpers". Especially DH, RRK, DRK and HK. I only hope I give back as much as I have received.

1/1/11 - A Special Year Ahead

To A Special Year!
1/1/11 - 1/11/11 - 11/11/11
and everyday

Apollo 11:
First manned mission
 to land on the moon

DaVinci's "The Last Supper:
If you look closely, there
are 11 rectangles and 11 hands
on both the right and left side

If you believe in Numerology, Astrology or in my case, mere coincidence, the number 11 has had significant meaning throughout history; including the belief that the number 11 has mystical powers.

It also has been said that the number 11 is: "the life path of illumination, enlightenment and spirituality", "represents balance", "a number that says: Pay Attention". 

2011 also represents "The end of the Mayan Calendar and the beginning of a universal shift". Maybe 2011 is the year we do indeed pay more attention and strive for more clarity and balance by actively seeking greater positive changes in ourselves and our lives. I know I will do my best!

May 2011 be a wonderful year, full of new beginnings, for us all.

Happy New Year!

Victoria

Alone Does Not Have To Mean Lonely

As the holidays approach, many people find themselves feeling especially lonely.  This video was sent to me by a friends and I believe, through visuals, music and words, it shows that alone does not need to mean lonely.

Please watch "How To Be Alone" and decide for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

I believe the most lonely anyone ever feels is when they are in a crowd of people and they are uncomfortable with themselves; not when they are alone and in an "okay" place with themselves.

We can be our best company. We can think, feel and do better with this concept and accompanying feelings, starting now.

So, before the actual holiday season is completely upon us, let's contemplate the message in the video above and take some action.

There is much joy and freedom to be found when you care about yourself enough to be alone, without feeling lonely. A big goal for some, sure, but a very obtainable one. In fact, being able to be okay alone usually makes being with others that much more enjoyable.

Please let me know your thoughts on this concept and the video.

Until next time,
Victoria

A Look at Feelings: Part One

Fig. 1

Fig. 2

Feelings:

1. A subjective response to a person, thing or situation
2. An emotional state or reaction
3. The emotional side of someone's character,

emotional responses or tendencies to respond

There are a number of theories that have been proposed to describe and understand the nature of our feelings or emotions.

I think Richard Plutchick’s definition is one of the easiest to understand. His definition can be understood as more of a description of our emotions rather than an explanation of how our emotions work. Plutchik, an American psychologist, proposed that there is a basic set of emotions that all people experience. These emotions are a part of us and directly relate to our adaptive behavior that is designed to enhance our survival instincts, in the same way as the fight or flight response is designed to help us survive.

Plutchik's model is based on an emotion wheel with eight basic emotions, (see Fig. 1). Positive emotions are seen to have a positive impact on our health while negative emotions can make us feel ill. He suggests that we can experience a blend of emotions. These can be seen on the color wheel, which illustrates that emotions vary in their intensity, (see Fig. 2).

It seems to me, a majority of people experience feelings as black or white. For instance, if you’re not sad, you’re happy. I contend, for example, the opposite of love is not hate. The goal is: indifference. The ‘trick’ is how do I change my thinking to understand the ‘grey’ area between black and white and understand that this middle ground of feelings is both desirable and obtainable!

A drawback I find with Plutchik’s theory is that he provides little room for the cognitive thought process. Other studies, which have focused on the topic of emotions, believe this ‘grey’ area of emotional response to be an important component of the cognitive thought process. I support this type of integrative approach.

Enter, Stanley Schachter. He proposes that our environment, as well as, our thought process contribute to the type of emotional experiences we have in any situation. According to Schachter, we recognize the emotions we experience as coming from a number of interacting events. People must make an appraisal of the situation and then figure out which particular emotion(s) they are feeling. This process helps an individual appraise a situation, which in turn, affects the emotion(s) they experience.

Theories or no theories, the fact is we do have feelings.
I, for one, believe feelings do indeed interact with our thought process and subsequent actions. Therefore, feelings are vital to address in this context of Positive Adaptation.

More to come on feelings; how they serve us, what we can do to learn how to embrace them while at the same time, avoid letting them control us and/or our actions.

Until then...
Victoria

Happy Father's - DAD's Day!

Today is Father's Day. I choose to call it "Dad's Day", as I believe there is a distinction. Becoming a father is not all that difficult, however, Being a great Dad is!  So in honor of the day; a heartfelt thank you to all Dads!

Some of us have lost our Dad's, but please remember: Death ends a life, not a relationship. Today, let us remember all the love, support and pride they so freely showed us, the knowledge they imparted on us and the wonderful example they set for us.

Moms and dads: may you both celebrate the wonderful Dad you are becoming. You have the ability to follow a good example or choose to start a new tradition in great parenting!

To all of you who have become Dads to kids with different "biological fathers, I salute you!  You are a blessing to the kids and us, their mothers.  You are a great source of love, pride and worldly knowledege that might not otherwise be present in their lives.  Please know, especially today, you are greatly needed and appreciated!

Today is a great day to say, (and hear), Thank You, Dad. I love you!

So today, I say thank you both to my own Father and Dad, (I am sure you can hear me), and a special thank you to my son's "Dad", David.  We are both grateful that you are in our lives. WE love you!

Victoria

Changes: Part 2

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

~ Maya Angelou

If we are capable and willing to be honest with ourselves, we know when we are not feeling the best we could, being the best we can be and doing the best we can. We know when we are not living and enjoying our lives to the fullest. If so, we know we are not living in 'Positive Adaptation'.

When we know this to our core and have a developed a pretty clear sense as to why, the next questions must then become: Now what? What am I going to do about it? Exactly how will I make the changes I must to think, feel and especially, do better in the future.

No matter what the source of our sense of unhappiness, please remember, we always have the power to change our attitude toward whatever or whom ever is causing us this unhappiness and just how much we let it/them negatively effect us. This is especially true if the real culprit is us.

I often say to my clients and friends, "Yes, this is a simple concept, yet in reality, it is not so easy to do in everyday life." Admittedly, it is not always easy for me, but indeed, eventually, it is always doable!

Our attitude can and will, alter how we think, feel and do. Negativity begets negativity, whereas positivity offers us a much greater chance at achieving positive results and thus, gratitude and happiness.

We must make the necessary changes, break old patterns of thought, feeling and actions.

Take the next exit, "Changes", off the old road. This is the one which will lead us to living and enjoying a happier life - one filled with happiness and joy. Ask the best of yourself and you will see and feel positive results.

You can be assured I am with you.

Victoria

Celebrate With Me

Today is Mother's Day and tomorrow is my birthday. I am proud to announce that I am 51 years young today! I have stopped fretting over the number, after all, age is only a matter of the mind and if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. I don't mind a bit because I am feeling better, enjoying life and love, more today than ever.  

Growing up, I shared my birthday many times celebrating Mother's Day as well. As my dear father used to say; "May every day be Mother's Day, may roses grow along your way".  Yes, Dad, (and Mom), roses do grow along my way. Now I even stop to smell them!

Thank you, Mom, Dad and all the rest of you, (I hope you know, through my words and actions, who your are), for believing in me before I believed in myself! My gift to myself this year is to continue to attempt to help others be stronger, believe in their best selves, love and enjoy life to the fullest, just as I have learned to do!

I invite all of you to joyfully celebrate May 10, 2010, with me! Whether you are a mother or not, have a birthday today or not, please, celebrate yourselves and those who have helped you along your journey!

The best is yet to come. May you find joy in this day and all the days that follow. I will be right there with you!

Victoria

P.S.- Please take the time to watch 'Mom and baby squirrels' video. If squirrels can, so can we!  http://webcastr.com/videos/underground/ucla-Story-About-a-Big-Squirrel-And-a-Baby-Squirrel.html

A Time of Renewal and Change

It is Spring time.... a time of renewal and change.
  

"It is not the strongest of species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."  

~ Charles Darwin

Change is inevitable! We know this to be true, intellectually. However, most of us are resistant to change, first and responsive to it second.  

Fair enough; change can be frightening.  We do not generally embrace change naturally and without some resistance.  No, first we need to think about why we must change, work through our feelings about it and then take the necessary actions to make change.  

The term 'adaptation' literally means something, such as a behavior, that is changed so as to become more suitable to a new or special situation. Utilizing Positive Adaptation as a method we can become more responsive and less resistant to all types of changes. One way to accomplish this is to view change with a more positive attitude, not as the enemy, but rather, as an opportunity for positive growth and a chance at a form of renewal.

Whether or not we thought about changing,  invited the circumstance or the need arose that required us to do so, we must learn to become more accepting of and responsive to change.  This is yet another way to become the best we can be - allowing us to live 'happier', 'better' lives.  We can go through the process of change with less fear and gain greater confidence in our ability to adapt.

If flowers can change naturally, we, too, can learn to adapt and change with greater ease, grace and comfort.

To becoming more responsive to your time of renewal and change...

Victoria

Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan