"Teach your children well. They are on the road and must have a code to live by, and so become yourself....and know I love you."
~ Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
I have chosen to teach my own child: Think, Feel and Do your best and know, no matter what, I love you.
Positive Adaptation is a way of life and the 'code' by which I now live. We learn by example, modeling the attitudes and behaviors of others. This process begins at birth, with ones parents, (then teachers and friends), and continues throughout the life span.
We all want the best for our kids, therefore, "If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves." ~C.G. Jung
To be the best example or role model, it is imperative that we believe in and take good care of ourselves, first. We must act with kindness and respect towards others and maintain a positive attitude and outlook on life. This is the best way I have found to teach my child to be and do the same.
I understand these are high goals to strive for and sound simple in theory. Of course, it is not easy to achieve nor maintain these highest of standards all the time. We are human. The truth is it is impossible to be a 'perfect' anything, let alone the 'perfect' parent, all we can do is our very best.
Here are a few of my own favorite lines, (some I borrowed from my parents), which I now have shared with my son:
- "Accidents happen, but less when you're careful, so try to be more careful next time"
- "Humans, (including me), by definition, are not perfect, that honor is left for the divine, so just we do the very best we can."
- "Mistakes happen, hopefully it will turn out to be a learning experience and therefore, you wont make the same one again"
- "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"
- "Can you honestly say you have done your best? Then your best has to be good enough."
- "Be grateful for all that you are and all that you have and always, always say thank you for both."
Positive Adaptation works in all areas of life. The principles of PA are applicable to all situations, interactions and relationships; including those related to health, (emotional and physical), academics, athletics, work and finances. Balance is key!
You don't have to merely imagine feeling and doing better and enjoying life more; you can become the catalyst of the positive changes necessary to help create this realty for yourselves and your children. The time to begin is now.
Take a little time to read the posts discussing the 3 core principles, (Think, Feel and Do your best), of Positive Adaptation. These 'how and why" posts may be found archived in February and March, 2009. (Positive Adaptation is wonderful for parenting, however, in no way exclusively intended for.)
After reading, I think you will agree, it is never too early, nor too late, to become the best you, you can be and hence, live and enjoy all that richness life has to offer to the fullest!
Positive Adaptation is a win/win way of life, one which serves both ourselves and our children well in their development, now and in the future. "There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.
I have always told my son, "You are the best" and "The world is your oyster, go, find the pearls". I have said for years, when speaking of him, "I want to grow up to be just like him". I am working on it and getting closer all the time.
"I just want my kids to love who they are, have happy lives and find something they want to do and make peace with that. Your job as a parent is to give your kids not only the instincts and talents to survive, but help them enjoy their lives." ~Susan Sarandon
To being and doing the best we can, for ourselves, our children and everyone else in our lives.
Photo by: Renee Rendler-Kaplan
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