Saturday, December 31, 2016

Happy New Year - 2017


By - Prashant Jain  


No doubt, this has been a very difficult year for many of us.

The past is over. We live in the day and the future is our to help build. Therefore, it is time now to move, positively, forward!

May this be your best year yet!
Victoria

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Remember: "Faith Is Believing..."

















"Faith is believing in things even when common sense
 tells you not to."


This definition of faith, from the movie "Miracle on 34th St., remains, for me, one of the most practical and simple to understand I have yet to hear.

View Clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2sjRRcONOc&list=PLZbXA4lyCtqplDXBCbANF_VXTRpxar6ea&index=5

Although simplistic in nature, it is can be quite difficult to keep believing all of the time,  Let's face it, real life can get in the way of faith, especially in adulthood.

We may not have the relationship, the job or home we so wanted from Santa Claus, (as exemplified in the movie),  However, we must not lose faith, belief and our sense of wonderment in all that we can become from realty, work and faith.  The truth: Much of the work is ours to do.

We can "Think, Feel and Do" our way into becoming the best we can be and thus, become capable of living and enjoying life to the fullest. This, as with any other endeavors requires faith and belief, in  ourselves, first and foremost!

For your consideration, below is a list of some more of my favorite quotes regarding faith, (non religious in nature):

Michelangelo: "Achieving anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Faith in oneself… is the best and safest course."

Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Eleanor Roosevelt: "He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all."

Richard M. Devos: "The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible."

Elizabeth Barrett Browning: "If you desire faith, then you have faith enough."

Of course, having faith alone is not enough as it is said,"Faith without works is dead" is also a truism. We must learn to be our own Santas; active participants in the process of our lives.

Believing in ourselves, we can "Think, Feel and Do" better and thus enjoy our lives more fully.

Faith comes from your heart. May you keep yours near and dear in all endeavors. Keep believing and doing the work required and you too will find happiness, which itself is success.

There is no doubt 2016 has been a difficult year for many us, however, if you really take a look back, I believe you too will also see many positives.

Remember, "Faith is believing when common sense tell us not to". Try to keep and work towards this type of faith, this Holiday Season, and throughout the coming year.

This year, let us be grateful for all we have in our lives and have the faith, belief and willingness to make next year even better, in all areas of our lives.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season.

Victoria
























Monday, November 14, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving - Gratitude Is Both An Attitude And Action



"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."  
      ~ John F. Kennedy


No matter what has happened this year, I am certain, if you really think about it, you can find much to be grateful for.

May we show our gratitude, in word and deed, all year long.

And then maybe, just maybe, there will be even more to feel grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, from me and mine.

Victoria

Monday, October 31, 2016

Choose To "Restart"













When a computer application is running slowly or continues to cause problems, don't you eventually force it to quit and restart your system? 

When we are having a "bad day" or feel we need to head in another direction, we can come to the same conclusion and internally: Restart.

We can restart our day anytime we choose. Through Positive Adaptation, we can 'Think, Feel and Do' better about ourselves and our lives. When needed or desired: realize it is time to take a moment, take a few cleansing breaths and press your own "restart" button.  I have found this method quite effective for myself.

I understand that change, of any kind, can be scary, however, there are also times when remaining in your status quo may appear equally as frightening, if not more so.

I have made, (and continue to), make positive changes in my own life and I assist others to do the same. Restarting is one of several tools I use and find it not only helps myself, but additionally, those around me.

You can decide to do this anytime you want or need to, as many times as you feel is necessary. You will 'Think, Feel and Do' better and be happier. In time, you will discover you are positively changing the direction of your entire life.  Integrating the choice to restart is one of the greatest gifts you can give, (and receive), yourself.

Today, make the decision when needed, take the actions to 'Think, Feel and Do' better and allow yourself to be feel better about yourself and your life.

No day needs to start, continue all day and end a "bad day".
Remember, you have your own restart button.

Victoria









Saturday, October 15, 2016

"The Rest and Best Remains Unwritten"








"Only the past chapters of our lives have been completed. The rest of our life's story remains unwritten." 
~ V. Baum

"When you make the present moment, instead of past and future, the focal point of your life, your ability to enjoy what you do - and with it the quality of your life - increases dramatically."
~ Eckhart Tolle

Where ever you are in life, personally and/or professionally, you can begin anew, today. We can all learn to 'Think Feel and Do' better if we choose to. Let us choose to start on a fresh page today.

'Things don't change, people change'. We may not be able to choose or be in complete control of our external circumstances nor the actions of others, however, we can change how we choose to respond to them. What really matters is who we are on the inside, who we are becoming and how we 'show up' in the world each day.

We can choose to shed our outmoded attitudes and subsequent behaviors and replace them with new, more positive and productive ones. In doing so, we assist ourselves in being better equipped to handle any and all challenges or situations which we may encounter throughout the day.

We will strive to be a first rate version of ourselves; 'Think, Feel and Do' our best and always remember: our best must be good enough, for us, today. When we live this way we are much more likely to enjoy life to the fullest.

I, too, have circumstances and external negative influences that require I utilize the principles and techniques of Positive Adaptation to help me. I cannot say that I am instantly aware of the need all of the time nor that I 'Think, Feel and Do' perfectly, as I am not perfect. I can say.... I do my best in the day I am in and that has become good enough. I always try to be and do even better the next day.

No matter how old we are, today is the best day of the rest of our lives!

From this instant on, we can vow to forgive ourselves, and others, for the past, (for this we cannot change), and remember we are all but mere mortals. We will, to the very best of our ability, to stop disappointing ourselves today, (as we have already decided to become our best, extraordinary selves), and learn to live and enjoy life to the fullest, rejoicing in every positive outcome.

Today, we start on a fresh page in the book of life. What will you be writing in yours? I know mine begins with: "Today I will be the best me I can be and...."

Yesterday is history. The rest our life's story remains unwritten. 

Go ahead, make today the best one yet.

Victoria

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Standing In Your Truth




Are You.....
Standing In Your Truth.

"What does that really mean" you ask?  Well, for starters, try asking yourselves the questions below:

1. Who am I, really? (Now, today, not who I used to be or who others told me I was.)
2. Am I even aware of my current thoughts, feelings and behavioral  patterns?
3. Are any of them,( #2's), no longer useful, or worse, now harmful to me? 
4. Have I considered how I will learn to make the necessary changes, in myself, so that I may break these old and harmful patterns?
5. In what ways would I better experience life, love and most especially, become my Authentic Self, when I do?
6. Am I ready to 'Stand In My Truth' and begin the process of living in real and sustainable positive change?

If the answer to #6 is a resounding YES, then, please, stick with it.

Stand in your truth, as this is the only place true personal freedom is found.

Please review some of my older posts, (archived), on this blog.  Choose a few titles that may catch your eye or appear to address the change you seek and please, read on.

After doing so, please go back and ask yourselves these same 6 questions again.

I absolutely believe once you do, you too will see, many of the ways in which we can make positive changes in ourselves that lead us to living and enjoying life to its' fullest!

Enjoy the moments. The very best ones are when you are standing in your truth and may very well be 'yet to come'.
Victoria


Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Learning To Dance In The Rain














"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...  
it is about learning to dance in the rain."
~ Vivanne Grenne

As the weather outside is stormy and pouring down rain, (here in Florida),  I asked myself: "Do I dance in the rain or just sit around inside waiting for it to pass." The honest answer is both, but I find dancing to be the better of the two options.

Many people believe they can only enjoy life to the fullest when they have a lot of money, are in a wonderfully romantic relationship, have a successful career, etc.  Not so! Consider this: money does not buy happiness, it only makes misery more comfortable.  

We do not have to wait for something or someone to 'happen to us' for us to feel worthy and capable of feeling happiness. In fact, until now, that way of thinking has allowed countless opportunities for happiness and positive personal growth to pass us by.

True happiness is not found in the 'whens' of life, it is found within us and is within our reach, here, now, today. If we learn to value and have a good relationship with ourselves, feel competent, (and be there for others), then we have what we need to enjoy life right now. Having the willingness to be open to new and different ways of viewing ourselves and embracing our ability to adapt to changes, (which are bound to occur), are vital to the process of finding and sustaining happiness.  

Will we feel happy all of the time? No.  However, next time you see clouds on the horizon, you can choose not to grumble about the impending storm. Instead, you can choose to enjoy it and view this as an opportunity to think, feel and do something differently.

Think about this: When we are young, dancing in the rain is fun and a perfectly acceptable form of behavior.  I say it still is; both literally and metaphorically.

I am going out to dance in the rain myself now!
Victoria








Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Keep Your Balance - How and Why

"Life is a great balancing act." ~ Dr.Seuss

We do not have to wait until we have lost our balance, completely, to find it. The key to keeping your balance is to  first acknowledge you may be feeling a bit wobbly. 

Consider yourself a gymnast on the balance beam of life. Have you ever watched what they do when they realize they are losing their balance? They start to wobble, then their arms start to flail around, all in an effort to regain control, find their center and solid footing, back on that beam.  Do they ever fall off the beam, sure, sometimes, but please take note: they always get back up and try again. 

We do have a lot to balance in our lives: family, friends, work, financial concerns, community and personal, 'me', time. It is simple but not so easy! We can only decide to do our best by continually trying to find our center, keep our balance and stay up on that beam.  

When our lives are in balance we feel better, our self esteem and sense of worth is higher, our relationships are at their best and it is here we find our greatest joy and true happiness. This is what living life to the fullest is all about!

Positive Adaptation can assist you: 'Think, Feel and Do'. We can begin by prioritizing, placing in a healthy order, our needs and wants; they are not the same. Think and feel about each one; which are your highest priorities, why and when you discover what is what and who is who... DO something about it.  A balance beam is always just a balance beam, things don't change, we do. 

Discover where your center is and you will have found your balance. The good news is you already possess what you need. It is already inside you waiting to be found and utilized, (see older post "Ruby Slippers').  

Albert Einstein said: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving".  We are human so we may indeed lose our balance and fall off once in a while.  

Let's make the decision to keep moving forward to our place of balance as this is where our happiness lies.  If we get wobbly, we will just keep at it!

"And will we succeed? 98  3/4% Guaranteed!"   From: "Oh The Places You Will Go", by Dr. Seuss, my pick for greatest 'self help' book ever written.

Make it a great one,
Victoria

Friday, August 5, 2016

Today Is Your Day! (The Rest and Best-Part 2)



"Today Is Your Day..."


"Oh The Places You Will Go"    
~ Dr. Seuss


Today is the day, the only one we have to become our best selves. Remember, it is never too late to become who you are meant to be and to enjoy life to the fullest. Let us begin anew, today!

Positive Adaptation teaches us that we all have the power, within us, to 'Think, Feel and Do' better. Whether the improvement sought is personal, professional, relational, financial or a combination, PA offers a guide, a way of living which assists us in finding and maintaining the healthy balance we seek.

Positive Adaptation is a simple concept, however, not always easy in daily practice. Our patterns of 'Thinking, Feeling and Doing' are generally learned early on in life and all too often become ingrained, first nature to us. We must choose to identify the patterns that, to date, have not been working for us and then discover new, better ways to handle whatever life challenges are presented us. We have everything we need to do so, now, already within us.

Just because 'that is the way it has always been' does not mean that is the way it always has to be. Change requires courage, even when the change is for the better. We have to learn to walk through any fears we may have, as not doing so keeps us where we have always been. I love how simply Susan Jeffers's stated how to work through fear: "Feel the fear and do it anyway."
The way to achieve change is not to go around it or in avoiding it. The only way to achieve our best selves is having the courage to go through change.

Life is to not to be survived or merely existed. Life is to be experienced, savored and enjoyed. Why would we choose to settle for a 'status quo' that has not lead us where we wanted to go when we can do better?

Empower yourself! Make the decision to 'Think, Feel and Do' your best today. "You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes. You can decide which direction to choose."

This brings me to what I believe is the greatest 'self help' book written to date, (as I have yet to publish mine), Dr. Suess's "Oh The Places You will Go."

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.


And will you succeed?


Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!


So...

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!
---Dr. Seuss


Today is your day, enjoy it!
Victoria




Saturday, July 23, 2016

Put Your Mask On First



Place your oxygen mask
on first......


Have you ever been on an airplane and watched a flight attendant, (or now, a video), demonstrate the "oxygen mask procedure"? They always instruct you to place your mask on yourself first before helping anyone else with theirs. Always.  They never say, "Of course this is really selfish of you, but hey, what the heck".  No, they go on to explain even if you are traveling with your own child, you must put your mask on first so you will be able to help them with theirs.

I used to think to myself, "No way! I am going to help my child first." That is until I really understood the logic and the difference between acting selfishly and practicing self care.  

Simply defined, selfish is being concerned only with yourself to the exclusion of others.  Self care is being actively concerned about yourself AND others. In practicing self care we are including ourselves in our list of most important people and others will benefit too. 

Many of us make attending to the needs and wants of others first a way of life. This just comes naturally to us. Like blinking, we may not even realize we are doing it. We may be born caretakers, worriers, controllers or just innately nurturing. There are times this may prove to be harmful to us, in many ways, if we are not taking care of ourselves. 

That is until something happens.  We may have feelings which have been building up for a long time.  Yet, it seems as if all of a sudden, we experience anger, sadness, resentment, anxiety, frustration, feel completely drained and/or become physically ill.  It is only then that we realize we have reached our own breaking point.  We have given so much of ourselves to others but not enough to ourselves.  As a result, now we 'cannot breathe'. Two of the most commonly used terms to describe this crisis state are "caregiver stress" and "burnout".

If we cannot breathe  how much help can we really be to anyone else? We must always remember to put our mask on first so that we can be there for ourselves and others. I came to embrace this way of thinking as not being selfish at all, but rather, participating in my own self care program.

I am a mother, a wife, a sibling, a friend, a volunteer, a blogger and a practicing therapist. I was also the adult child of aging parents, (now deceased), and openly admit I have suffered from caregiver stress in the past.

I have come to understand that to be the best I can be, (at any or all of these roles), I must take care of myself and allow others to help me ,as well.  

Believing in self care is not selfish.  It is the only lasting way to be of service to myself and others.

I hope you will consider putting your mask on first too!
Victoria










Saturday, July 9, 2016

Ruby Slippers - You Have Them Too!


What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
       ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


One of my favorite movies of all time is The Wizard of Oz. The story encapsulates all the principle elements of what I call Positive Adaptation.

You probably know the story line; a girl named Dorothy finds herself in a situation she neither knows how she got into nor how to get out from. She is told to follow the Yellow Brick Road to the Land of Oz where she will find the "all knowing, all powerful Wizard of Oz". Once there, he will provide the solution to her problem. Sound familiar?

Dorothy heads out on a fantastic journey where she meets three guides. They want to help her find her way home and hope the Wizard can help them too. The Scarecrow wants a brain, (think), Tin Man wants a heart, (feel), and the Lion wants courage, (do). 

The Wicked Witch of the West wants what Dorothy has, the Ruby Slippers. She does everything within her power to get the Ruby Slippers from Dorothy before she can reach the Wizard.  The wicked witch fails and the group returns victorious to Oz, feeling empowered and worthy of the Wizard's help.

Once there, they discover the Wizard is not really a wizard at all, but merely a human being.  Still, he is able to help the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion. He points out, as shown by their own actions, they already possess within them, what is they were searching for. 

And then there is Dorothy; happy for her friends but still not sure how she will get what she wants, to find her way home.

Poof! Glinda, the Good Witch of the North appears and explains to Dorothy that she has also had the ability with her the entire time, represented by the Ruby Slippers. She needed only to know it and to learn how to use them. Remember....click your heals together three times?

Dorothy and her Ruby Slippers remind us that other people can help us but we must not rely solely upon them to 'fix' us or to 'make us' happy.  We need to continue on our own paths using our guides of thinking, feeling and doing.  We must maintain the self  assurance that we already possess within us what it takes to get 'better' and be 'happier' and have the willingness to seek it. 

Try living Positive Adaptation and you too will discover you have your own pair of 'Ruby Slippers'. You can learn how to use them and achieve your own 'hearts desire'








Friday, July 1, 2016

What Matters Is What Happens In You!


"Things may happen around you
and things may happen to you,
but the only thing that really matters
is what happens in you."
~Elise Robinson

Whether we are in the midst of chaos, just getting by or doing well, we can always do better! We need to fill our minds with positivity to seek out opportunities and solutions, which until now, we had yet to consider. To achieve this, we must change how we view ourselves and our world around us.

We all need a plan, a road map if you will. Positive Adaptation is just that: 'Think, Feel and Do' your best and then you will live and enjoy life to the fullest.

When faced with a 'problem' or you are baffled as to what to do next, instead of being fearful or angry, try looking at it for what it really is: an opportunity for positive personal growth.

'Think, Feel and Do' differently than you have in the past. Open your heart and mind to all the of possibilities. With this type of positive view, (and actions), your results are much more likely to be positive, as well.

In our ongoing search for our best selves, a life filled with love, health and happiness, let us remember what matters most is what happens inside of ourselves.

Victoria

Friday, June 24, 2016

Love Is Like A Flower



“Love is like a flower, and, like the body, 
it needs constant feeding. 
The mortal body would soon be emaciated
and die if there were not frequent feedings.
The tender flower would wither and die
without food and water. 
And so love, also, cannot be expected
to last forever unless it is continually
fed with portions of love, 
the manifestation of esteem and admiration,
the expressions of gratitude
and the consideration of unselfishness.” 
    ~ Spencer W. Kimball