The view from the rear view mirror
of the sign in Part 1. If you haven't already,
I suggest you read Part 1 first.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
~ Maya Angelou
If we are willing to be honest with ourselves, we know when we are not feeling the best we could, being the best we can be and doing the best we can. We know when we are not living and enjoying our lives to the fullest.
When we know this to our core and have a developed a pretty clear sense as to why, the next questions must then become: Now what? What am I going to do about it? Exactly how am I going to make the changes I must to Think, Feel and Do better in the future?
We need a plan, a step by step outline, so we may ultimately achieve the positive changes we seek.
The first and most important step is to determine IF we have the power to make the changes. If the power to successfully achieve positive change is within us, that is one thing. If the cause of our discontentment is someone or something else, outside of us, that is another.
Yet no matter what the source of our sense of unhappiness, please remember, we always have the power to change our attitude toward whatever or whomever is causing us this unhappiness and just how much we let it/them negatively effect us. This is especially true if the real culprit is us.
The Serenity Prayer
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
I often say to my clients and friends, "Yes, this is a simple concept, yet in reality, it is not so easy to do in everyday life." Admittedly, it may not be that easy, but indeed, doable!
Our attitude can and will, alter how we Think, Feel and Do. Negativity begets negativity. Positivity offers us a much greater chance at achieving positive results.
One of the first issues we need to address is the difference between compromise and settling. Compromise is always preferable! Is it realistic to believe you and the other person are both willing and capable to make the necessary changes so that both your wants and needs are met? Is a healthy compromise possible? If so, I say go for it!
On the other hand, "Settling", (I define as, accepting the unacceptable), I do not recommend to anyone. Settling is certainly not, nor should ever be considered, a long term solution to any of our "problems".
Settling is the road which may have lead us here, to this unhappy place. It most certainly will not lead us to the changes and happiness we seek. In fact, remaining on this old road, more times than not, eventually will lead us to feel even worse, more resentful toward ourselves and others, as no real, acceptable changes have been made. We deserve better than this.
We must make the necessary changes, break old patterns of thought, feeling and actions, learn to compromise and not settle, so that we may create conditions to be ripe for us to Think, Feel and Do, better.
We must try new ways! Take the "Change exit off the old road". This is the path which will lead us to living and enjoying a happier life - one filled with happiness and joy.
We should never settle for less than we are capable of, or willing to do or worth. Would you ask your child, spouse or anyone else you love to settle? I think not! So, why then would you ask this of yourself? Ask the best of yourself and you will see and feel positive results.
We must believe we are worth more/better and then learn to Think, Feel and Do, better. Be the change you seek and you shall find it.
Positive change and greater happiness are just one exit away on the road of life! Take it and begin to be the change you seek!
More thoughts on how to achieve positive change coming in next posts. I hope you will stay with me on this journey.