Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Positive, Healthy Personal Boundaries (Part One)

Learning to set and maintain positive, healthy, personal boundaries is one of the most important steps in promoting a better sense of ones' self and thus, ultimately becoming capable of effectively communicating your self worth to others.

Changing our relationship with ourselves, first, is a critical component to making any long term changes in our relationships with others. 

Positive, healthy personal boundaries are a set of physical, emotional and mental limits we establish in order to 1) best protect ourselves from any type of harm 2) Allow healthy people and relationships into our lives, while keeping out those that are not and 3) help us express ourselves as the unique individuals that we are, while simultaneously acknowledging and respecting the same in others.

We must learn to recognize that we are all individuals with our own thoughts, feelings, attitudes and values. This means we must also acknowledge the same is true for our spouses, children, friends, coworkers and others.

We are all entitled to have our boundaries respected and honored. This is the only way to have healthy relationships, of any sort, in our lives. This is a one important way to achieve the long term improvement you seek.

It is not possible to have a healthy relationship, of any kind, with someone who has no boundaries nor someone who cannot communicate their needs and wants, effectively and honestly. Therefore, learning to set your own personal boundaries is a vital step in learning to be a good friend to ourselves, as well, as others.

We change and grow as we experience life's transitions. You may have grown up and out of your past and current boundaries, even those which had once 'worked' or were unknown to us.

It may be time to reevaluate who we are, (now), who we want to become, and in what ways we would like to improve all the relationships in our  lives, beginning with ourselves!

Promoting new, positive, healthier boundaries is a wonderful place to begin. Remember, it is never to late to establish, reestablish and/or maintain positive, healthy boundaries for yourself.

Please consider where your boundaries are and where you would like them to be.

I will discuss this topic in more depth, (i.e,: 'How'),  in: Positive, Healthy Personal Boundaries - Part Two, coming soon.

Until then, please consider the fact that you have the 'right and a need' for healthy boundaries and so do others. The truth, however, is ours and theirs, do not always 'mesh' well, (at least not anymore).

Take the first step: Actually review your current personal boundaries and see which ones still apply, which no lone work well for you and therefore, must change!

Victoria

Photo by: Victoria Baum, (Sidewalk Cafe in Quebec City)






Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Let's Play Ball!






"It's hard to beat
 a guy who never
 gives up."
~ Babe Ruth



Everyday offers its own, new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put it behind you and start again today.

"That is the way life is; a new game every day and that's the way baseball is." ~Bob Feller

We cannot be 'happier' if we do not at least try!  Positive Adaptation offers a way to Think, Feel and Do your way into being the best you can be and enjoying life to the fullest.  Life is too short not to at least take a swing at it!

Consider the movie "Field of Dreams".  You know, "If you build it, they will come". Kevin Kostner's character thought about it, felt deeply and then did what most thought was the impossible: he built it, (the field),  and they did come! He fulfilled his dream and shared it with others. So can you!

"There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happens." ~Tommy Lasorda.  Which one do you want to be?  

Lou Gehrig, even after discovering he was terminally ill, kept a positive attitude. He told the entire world he might have had "a tough break" but still considered himself "to be the luckiest man on earth".  

You cannot win unless you play, right? So today, make the decision not to sit in the stands, just watching, rather, choose to get in the game of life!

Remember, it is not whether you win or loose, it is how you play the game. All any of us can ever do is be and do our best.

There is no such thing as three strikes and you are out in life! Keep at it and you are bound to hit one out of the park!

Victoria

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Remembering on Father's Day, (and everyday)!

Dad, Opa, Professor, General, (Ret.)
Bernard H. Baum

It has been 9 years since my father died, yet it feels like yesterday. Every Father's Day, I remember this saying: "Death ends a life, not a relationship." How true!

We are blessed to know, love and be loved by such special people. We do not need forget or get over them, rather, we ought to remember and embrace all that we shared. After all, is not this the way to truly honor them and the relationship we share?

My Oma, (his mother, my grandmother), as a small child, once told me, in attempt to explain death, "The people you love and who love you, never really die because you carry them in your heart.  In fact, every time you speak kindly of them, share a memory or story about them, you spread their spirit to others and that is what keeps them alive in yours, and others, hearts."

There are so many stories, things he used to say, (we call them "Bernie or Opa isms"), and ways in which he is still with all he knew and loved. He said, "Anyone can be a "parent", but a "Dad" is built, one experience after another."

Today, I will celebrate my father and the wonderful relationship WE LEARNED to have by honoring and cherishing the good memories and make a point to share them with others. 

Tell that someone special in your life today that you love them!  Give them a big hug.  Remember someone special today that is gone.  I promise, you will both feel better for it.

He used to say, "I am blessed".  No Dad, we were all blessed.

Victoria
(Proud and loving daughter)

Sunday, June 4, 2017

What Matters Is What Happens In You!


"Things may happen around you
and things may happen to you,
but the only thing that really matters
is what happens in you."
~Elise Robinson

Whether we are in the midst of chaos, just getting by or doing well, we can always do better! We need to fill our minds with positivity to seek out opportunities and solutions, which until now, we had yet to consider. To achieve this, we must change how we view ourselves and our world around us.

We all need a plan, a road map if you will. Positive Adaptation is just that: 'Think, Feel and Do' your best and then you will live and enjoy life to the fullest.

When faced with a 'problem' or you are baffled as to what to do next, instead of being fearful or angry, try looking at it for what it really is: an opportunity for positive personal growth.

'Think, Feel and Do' differently than you have in the past. Open your heart and mind to all the of possibilities. With this type of positive view, (and actions), your results are much more likely to be positive, as well.

In our ongoing search for our best selves, a life filled with love, health and happiness, let us remember what matters most is what happens inside of ourselves.

Victoria

Friday, May 26, 2017

"You Can and WIll"



Do your best; take it as it comes. 
You can handle anything if you think you can. 
Just keep your cool and your sense of humor.
    ~Smiley Blanton, M.D. (1882-1966) American Psychiatrist


One of my father's sayings was: "You can and you will". 
This taught me that to make changes and obtain ones' goals: Attitude is Everything!

The best teaching tool of this concept can be found by reading, (again), Oh, The Places You Will Go,  by Dr. Seuss.