"Problems do not arise from the fact of having feelings.
Problems arise from what we do with them or
from our attempts at avoiding them"
~ David Brazier, The Feeling Buddha
Embrace Your Feelings!
1. Our feelings are neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’, they have a range of intensity and we can experience more than one at time. (See previous post: Feelings: Part One)
2. Feelings are rarely emergencies that require immediate action.
3. Most importantly, they are yours! Embrace them with the knowledge that only you can choose to lessen or increase their intensity or accept them just as they are! (See diagram above)
Often times we do not want to feel what we are feeling. We try to ignore them, hoping they'll just go away or change, right? Wrong!
The truth is, yesterday, I had to face the fact and feelings that my fabulous, however short, ‘self care’, trip to Florida was ending. The time alone, I had been so looking forward to and excited about was now coming to an abrupt end.
I was feeling: disappointment, some sadness, a bit of anxiety about all I had to do when I got home. All of these feelings were mixed up with a healthy dose of gratitude and joyfulness for even having had the opportunity to get away and have such a wonderful time. I felt ‘wrong’ for feeing sad when I felt so fortunate to have been able to go. I relished the feeling of sunshine on my face and allowed that warmth to wash over me. This helped me put everything I was feeling in a better perspective.
Just like you, I experience mixed emotions! Practicing Positive Adaptation helps me and I believe, no matter what the feelings or situation, it can and will, help you too!
You may be asking; exactly how is Positive Adaptation helping me? The answer is I have chosen to embrace my feelings, all of them! They are all mine and they are real. I choose to embrace them, rather than ignore them, monitor how intense I allow, (the more negative ones), to become and adjust my behavior accordingly. I will continue to freely share the positive ones. I will use them to feel, think and be, a better person today! These are the choices I can and am making. Yes, it was a wonderful trip and I will savor the memories, while living in this moment!
Embracing our feelings requires facing, accepting and working through them. If we try to repress them, they usually find a way to come out anyway in another form, such as depression, anxiety, panic, (just to name but a few).
The most important point about dealing with emotions is that you cannot predict what you are going to feel at any particular time or in response to any certain event. One thing we can develop is control over the way we respond, rather than react, to all of our feelings.
Getting in touch with your feelings will help you control your behavioral reactions. Bottom line; embrace your feelings so they do not end up, (negatively), controlling you!
Feelings, themselves, are not the problem. It is when we try to ignore them that a problem may arise.
I suggest that practicing Positive Adaptation will assist with both, leading you to feel better about yourself and your life! I know this is what I desire for myself, as well as, all of you.
Until next time...